Mission Savvy

Savvy Life Skill: Right-Brained Skills

tony — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:26:37 -0700

In the early 1960's, a neuropsychologist named Roger Sperry developed a ground-breaking idea about how our brains worked. He theorized that our brains are split between two hemispheres - the left and the right. Certain aspects of our thinking are exclusively controlled by either one side or the other, he presumed.

Scientists have since expanded significantly on Sperry's original research, and the right/left brain theory has largely become the dominant school of thought. The left brain, they believe, governs the logical, analytical and rational aspects of our thought. It is geared toward intellectual thought like problem solving, mathematics and analyzing data. The right brain, on the other hand, governs the intuitive, feeling aspects of our thought. It's governance includes things like design, spatial relationships, and viewing things as a whole rather than a series of parts.

For instance, consider balancing your checkbook. When you sit down to accomplish this task, the left brain takes over. It thrives on organizing and creating structure, and it engages the task in a sequential, systematic way. It adds up the figures and expects and exact, specific answer. If you tried to put the right brain in charge, you'd be in trouble. It would rather guess at the total, content with looking at the pile of figures and rounding out the total.

Now consider driving in traffic. In this instance, your right brain takes over. When in traffic, you're bombarded with stimuli from every direction, and your mind has to take it all in without focusing on any of it specifically. It needs to see the picture as a whole. If your left brain were in charge, it would go crazy trying to lock on to each piece of information and sort it in manageable form.

The analysis of left and right brain thinking is becoming more and more a part of the workplace environment. During the Industrial Age, when our cultures were busy supplying its people with practical machines and goods to carry out specific functions in our lives, left-brained workers and designers were in great demand. These people thought practically about how an item can be practical and functional, and how a company can make it using the least amount of resources.

More and more, however, employers are seeking out right-brained workers. This follows the ideas of a number of researchers who believe that we've moved from the Industrial Age into a "Conceptual Age." We've reached the point where we live in a economy of abundance. We have everything we need to live practical, functional lives. Now consumers are looking for goods that not only fulfill practical applications, but also satisfy our aesthetic desires as well. Phones can't just connect us to the outside world; they have to look good, feel good in our hands, and incorporate many more services than just connectivity. To fulfill these demands, companies are hiring right-brained employees who can think outside the box - creative, artsy employees who aren't just number crunchers.

To bring your child into this marketplace and make sure he succeeds, you have to foster his right-brained abilities. Now, some people are simply born the way they're born. Some kids are inherently good at math. Others are inherently good at music, and couldn't solve a math problem if their life depended on it. No matter what anyone tells you, though, everyone uses both sides of their brain. Like any other aspect of our bodies, though, we have to exercise our brains if we want them to perform. By exercising with right-brain activities, you can hone your children's thought processes and make them more appealing candidates to future employers.

Be decorative -- Raising infants and toddlers in houses with bright, well-organized decorations helps foster their visual thinking skills. During their infancy, decorate their walls with brightly-colored shapes cut out of construction paper. Make circles and squares, both small and large, to help them learn to differentiate between curved lines and straight ones. As they get older, help them to redecorate their rooms with posters of superheroes or singers or whatever they enjoy. Make sure they have creative control over the process, though. Help them think through tough decisions, and help them understand how the arrangement of the posters, not just each poster individually, is important to how the room will look.
Promote arts and crafts -- While this may seem like a chore (and it will be, when your kids are still young), you've got to help them paint, draw, sculpt and create in any way possible. Your right-brained kids will immediately take to this; it will more than likely be their favorite thing to do. Your predominantly left-brained kids may take to it a little slower, and some may not like it at all. As this type of exercise is firmly rooted in creative, visual and spatial reasoning, it is a great way to flex their right hemispheres. If you want help avoiding the mess, Crayola has a number of products that eliminate the need for cleanup.
For math problems, bust out the abacus -- A number of prominent Japanese psychological researchers discovered the use of an abacus as a mathematical learning tool promoted and was promoted by right-brained skills. While students who learn math in schools generally visualize numbers by picturing the numerical symbols, students who learn using an abacus visualize numbers in groups and collections of abacus beads. The researchers found that children using this tool had improved numerical memory (ability to remember and recall multiple numbers), spatial memory (ability to remember sequences, placements and arrangements) and general mathematical skills. These children scored higher than non-abacus students in many areas, including addition and multiplication of one-digit numbers, addition and subtraction of multi-digit numbers and word problems employing addition and subtraction. An abacus, then, can be a great tool for a predominantly left-brained (math-centric) kid to develop right-brained skills, but it can also be a great tool for a right-brained kid to develop better math (left-brain) skills.
4. Be aware of your child's visual learning needs -- When trying to teach your right-brained child, don't get frustrated when he's not getting something you're trying to explain to him. Remember, these kids are visual learners. When they don't understand something, repeating yourself over and over isn't going to help. Instead, think about how you can "rephrase" the information with visual cues. Hang up a large dry erase boards in their room, and use them to both explain things and help your child work through problems.

Not all kids are going to take well to right-brained exercises and activities. Like we noted before, some are just wired that way. We all exercise skills on both sides of our brains, however, and using these techniques can help stimulate and improve right-brained skills in even the most left-brained of kids. Just remember to be patient; these skills are going to come in handy some day.

Savvy Life Skill: Leadership

tony — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 15:00:44 -0700

Humanity has seen great leaders rise above the crowd. Martin Luther King Jr., Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, Joan of Arc - all people that have stepped out of the masses and turned the people from confusion to organization, from the rabble into the mob. Although many will contend that these people were simply born good leaders, there are many others (mostly parents) that will assure you these great leaders were made, forged by the sweat and dedication of the ones that raised them.

What is leadership anyway? There are lots of definitions out there, but I like John Maxwell's definition best - leadership is influence. Influencing others to come along for the ride, without needing a title or position to do so. Influencing others through words, actions, and most importantly, through example so that others enthusiastically give their best.

As such, nurturing kids to grow as leaders isn't primarily about getting a good job, making them more marketable, teaching them to control others, or pushing them to be a future CEO or quarterback. It's about helping her reach her full potential, and also enabling her to draw out the potential in others.

Great leaders possess an exceptional skill set, but even more importantly, great leaders have an unparelleled mindset and "heartset" - deeper qualities that go beyond skill or perspective.

Leadership Skill Set

Leaders communicate - Great leaders obviously have to be great communicators, and the best way to bring that out in your child is to immerse them in the world of language. Encourage her to read as much as possible, from books to magazines to comic books - anything that involves her with the written language. When she's old enough, encourage her to write as well. Diary entries, essays, fictional stories. Take the opportunity to teach her how words matter when she faces conflict with friends or when misunderstandings occur. She'll start to get an understanding of the power and the responsibility of the words she chooses as well as how she delivers them.
Leaders organize - Any good leader is an effective organizer. Not only can she organize a group of people into a cohesive unit, but she's effective in organizing her own life. As she get older, start to delegate more schedule decisions to her - she'll soon learn that organization skills is about prioritizing. Show her how to use checklists and share a little about how you keep all your savvinness organized, too.
Leaders solve problems - Help foster problem solving skills in your child by role-playing with them. Present her with difficult situations that might arise at school, and have her work through them with you. Teach her to look at both sides of the issue, to view problems through multiple lenses before making a decision. Teach her to think about all decisions in terms of pros and cons.

Leadership Mindset

Leaders dream big - Great leaders can see past the current day situation and envision what could be. They have an ability to imagine what the future could look like and are optimistic that it is achievable. Now, vision for a toddler probably just entails a chocolate covered donut with rainbow sprinkles, but as your tot grows up, you can begin to nurture this vision muscle. Get her involved in activities that require creativity and imagination - drawing a more intricate scene, building a LEGOS castle, and building a go-cart with her friends. Expose her to new experiences that will shape her perspective of what is possible and how the world works. For example, take her to a Habitat for Humanity service trip and visit the local farm to learn how the whole food chain works. Challenge her to ask, "Wouldn't it be cool if..."
Leaders set goals - Teach your child to set realistic goals when she's still young. Goals could include having her room clean by a certain time, or reading a book within the space of a week. Set goals for her at first and help her meet them, and as she gets more confident allow her to set her own goals. You don't want go overboard and make her too goal-oriented, but setting good goals will help her to learn planning, motivation, and (if she's smart) delegation skills.

Leadership Heartset

Leaders have strong character - Leaders have integrity and courage. They aren't easily shaken up by discouragement and they keep their promises. They have that inner strength to make tough decisions and don't yield to the pressures of the day. Developing kids of strong character is so important that it's the entire focus of the Character articles within Savvy Daddy's SavvyPack section. In particular, read the articles about how we can raise kids of integrity, courage (coming soon), generosity, and compassion.
Leaders are coaches - All leaders are coaches. We can teach our kids to have a heart of a coach by letting them experience what it's like to be coached (through a sports team, for example) or to let them coach younger kids. They'll experience the thrill of their advice being taken seriously. In addition, we can help him learn to how to understand motivations and be "emotionally intelligent", so that he can figure out how to draw out and motivate others.

With these perspectives, your child will be well on her way to a life of leadership. Regardless of where life takes her, having the skillset, mindset, and heartset of a leader will help her achieve things she might not have thought possible and find fulfillment in motivating others.

Other Links:
Nurturing the Leader Within Your Child by Dr. Tim Elmore and John Maxwell
Coaching Your Kids to be Leaders by Pat Williams (former NBA GM and father of 19 kids!)
Fathers.com: How to build leaders

Savvy Life Skill: Making Value-Based Decisions

tony — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 14:03:49 -0700

A savvy dad has many, many jobs. These jobs (e.g., protecting your kids from harm, teaching them about money, allowing them to fail in controlled environments) are all part of a larger, over-arching plan to build a foundation of stability underneath your child. This foundation will allow her to grow into a stable, healthy adult who values herself and makes value-based decisions.

Teaching your child to make the best decisions for him or herself is, obviously, not as simple as teaching them to tie their shoes. It's a life-long lesson, one that begins when the child can speak and doesn't end even when she's out the door and headed off for college. It requires that your family have a strong moral pcenter, and that you as a parent have continuously set good examples and have held your children up to high moral standards.

Many parents, however, face a crucial problem when trying to impart good decision-making skills on their children. Rather than teach them how to make good decisions, these parents simply tell their children which decisions to make. This is somewhat equivalent to trying to teach your child how to do math by solving all the problems for her. Instead of teaching her how to avoid bad decisions and make good ones in general, they are teaching her which good decisions to make in specific. The problem with this theory is there's no way for any parents to cover every possible choice that children, teenagers and future adults may be faced with. Even if the child follows every good decision she's been taught to the letter, what will she do when she comes upon a decision to which her parents haven't told her how to react?

The skills to make good decisions have to be ingrained at a young age. A study by Students Against Drunk Driving and Liberty Mutual showed that a parent's influence over their child's decision-making abilities sharply decreases as they age; by the time they hit their teenage years, your influence is virtually non-existent.

Kids, as well, are under more and more pressure to make bad decisions by their peers at younger ages. The same study showed that among 1,800 elementary and high school students across the nation:

one in four sixth graders was sexually active
drug use increases significantly between eighth and ninth grade, and
by 12^th grade, more than three in four teens are drinking and sexually active and more than half report using drugs.

Give them the information they need - People make decisions based on information. We choose to take part in activities when we've found out what they are and what their possible effects on us could be. If we're being fed false or skewed information, however, our decisions are unsound. In many cases, teenagers take part in dangerous activities because they're curious about things of which they know very little. You cannot expect your teenager to make sound, well-informed decisions if you don't provide him with the information to do so. If, for instance, you simply tell her, "Sex is bad; don't do it," you can't expect her loyalty to your rules to overrule her curiosity. Experts say you should begin demystifying the allure of dangerous activities by telling your kids about them. Show them what can happen (like drunk-driving accidents, overdoses, teen pregnancy), but don't make it a tragedy. If you go too over-the-top, your kids will sense it. Be straight-forward; yes, it can be fun, but it can also be very, very dangerous and it can ruin your life.
Have high expectations - If you expect big things from your children, they will expect big things from themselves: it is that simple. The possibility of disappointing a loving, excited savvy dad is much more scary than being grounded. Don't expect the world of your kids, however; be realistic. Help them to stay focused on concise, attainable goals, and make sure they know that drinking and doing drugs are not compatible with those achievements. Teach them to look at every decision they make in terms of what goals they have and what they expect of themselves. If they want to be track stars, then smoking cigarettes should be a blatant example of what they shouldn't be doing. If they want to go on and become professional businesspeople, then doing drugs and getting arrested will be a detriment to their dreams.
Don't expect more than you put in - Again, this is pretty simple: you can't expect your children to make the right choices if you're not willing to put the time in to coach them. If you're an absentee dad (whether in physical presence or emotional presence), you have no right to get angry when they do something that you don't approve of. Kids aren't mind readers. They need guidance and support, and if you're unwilling to give that to them, you can't expect them to come out the other end of the peer pressure gauntlet as a paragon of virtue.
Set a good example - Just as before, this is a matter of hypocrisy. If you spend your evenings swigging away on a bottle, cavorting with random women on a rotating basis and having drug parties in the garage, you'll be a fool to expect your children to do otherwise. As far as they know, theirs is the normal life. If you raise them in a dangerous environment where illegal activities are common, that is the type of environment that's going to feel most like home to them. On the other hand, if you raise them in a wholesome, loving environment, then the illegal activities their friends are pushing them to take part in will stand in stark contrast.

Value-based decisions are invaluable to a healthy life; they literally can mean the difference between life and natural selection. Educate your children properly, hold high expectations of them and teach them to make decisions that reflect their values and yours.

Savvy Life Skill: Business Savvy

tony — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 13:47:47 -0700

Our race has come a long way. Where once we were a society of hunter-gatherers, we have become an agriculture-based society. That gave way to an industrial society, where machines began to do bigger jobs than men ever could. Where we once had a barter-based economy, where my goats were payment enough for your flour, we now have a monetary-based economy - you won't get anything without cold, hard cash.

As the technological revolution has taken hold, our society has turned even more business-centric. We are now very much service-based; our economy revolves around brokers, financers, investors, managers, accountants - professionals with specialized knowledge about business practices and execution. These are the people who are ear-marked to succeed in our economy, and they are doing just that.

Sometimes business savvy is an inherent thing - some children just have a head for it. This is the exception rather than the rule, however. In most cases, children are taught to have business skills, nurtured in an environment where those skills are brought to the forefront and cultivated. Raising them in this type of environment will endow them with the skills to succeed in our economy, no matter what profession they choose. Even an aspiring musician can benefit from a business background.

Teaching your kids to be business-oriented is not a hard task if you yourself are business-oriented. On the other hand, it may be somewhat difficult for the labor-oriented father to impart values on his child that are specific to another profession. Getting them started on that road, however, is as easy as the following steps.

Teach them about money. - Your children should learn about money at an early age. Give them an allowance (link for allowance story), and teach them how to save their money rather than spend it fruitlessly. Impart on them the value of setting a goal (like an expensive toy) and working toward it. Although it's no secret that money will, as the adage goes, "burn a hole in your pocket," you must teach your children to fight the temptation to spend, spend, spend. Making a long-term monetary goal, striving for it is and meeting that goal is one of the most rewarding lessons a child can learn when it comes to finances.
Demonstrate how education is relevant to the workplace - I'm sure you've heard this a thousand times while your kids do homework: "When am I ever going to use this in real life?" Although it may seem like busy work, almost all of the skills they teach in school have real world applications. Math and algebra impart not only the basic skills of mathematics but also a familiarity with working with numbers - something any business savvy person will definitely need. Science, as well, teaches not only scientific facts about our world but also imparts tools to observe and study it. Regardless, it may be hard to impart on your children how important these skills are, but stay after it. Make sure they get good grades. (link to helping kids with school story)
Start a lemonade stand - A lemonade stand is the quintessential childhood business. For decades kids have been cutting their business teeth with 25-cent glasses of lemonade on neighborhood street corners. Before your kid gets started, though, have him draw up a proposal for his stand. Encourage him to think outside the box by offering other services or goods other than just lemonade. Have him brainstorm alone for a while and write you a small proposal detailing what he plans to accomplish, how he plans to do it and what he plans to get in return for his work. He will remember this work for the rest of his life, and it will set the stage for how he works through ideas later in life.
Send them caddying - Lemonade stands are obviously the most recognizable of kids jobs. The second-most obvious...is golf caddying. Whereas running a stand teaches your child how to start and manage a business, caddying teaches your child how to network with businessmen and women, how to take direction graciously and how to interact with people outside of their comfort zones. If the golf course in your area doesn't have a caddying program, start one.
Sign them up for a business group - Many national organizations specialize in teaching children how to succeed in business environments. These are predominant on the high school and college levels, with groups like Delta Epsilon Chi and the Future Business Leaders of America. Parent educators can also consider bringing programs to the elementary school level. Junior Achievement, a program for teaching children how to compete in a global economy, is currently being practiced in nearly 20,000 schools and has an enrollment of just over 8 million students.

Business skills aren't necessary for success. Your children can get ahead in life using any number of skills from art-oriented skills to labor-intensive ones. Having a good foundation of business sense, however, can only propel them forward. These types of leadership skills translate into almost every trade and profession in the country, and teaching them to your children will only benefit them in the long run.

Savvy Life Skill: Taking Tests

tony — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:45:29 -0700

What's a baby's first experience at birth, even before being cleaned, clothed, or fed? A standardized test to determine the Apgar score. It's a fitting welcome to a long life of Denver scores, entrance exams, mid-term quizzes, final exams, gifted and talented assessments, IQ tests, national standardized progress tests, PSATs, SATs, LSATs MCATs, bar exams, and med school boards. Perhaps our reliance on tests isn't fair, and perhaps it isn't educationally helpful, but it's the world we live in, so we must accept that if our kids can't prove themselves with a #2 pencil, they will have a hard time excelling in many arenas. Luckily testing is a learned skill, and most people's greatest testing hurdle-test anxiety-can be overcome. With the below tips you can help your children maximize their test-taking abilities, and in no time you will be boasting, "My kid is more standard deviations above the mean than yours!"

Prepare. Dale Earnhardt couldn't win the Daytona 500 in a Honda Civic. Similarly, your kid can be a master test-taker, but without the knowledge and ability, she won't do well. That's why preparation is by far the most important factor in succeeding on tests. Help your kids prepare by staying involved and teaching time management skills. For example, try working with your kids to design a calendar that plots out appropriate amounts of study time. With a calendar, your kids can prepare for tests without cramming, which is an ineffective method of learning.
Build confidence. Even when students are well prepared, many are hampered by a lack of confidence. The best remedy for lack of confidence is . . . prepare some more! Over-preparation is the best medicine, but once your kids have successfully completed American History boot camp, or are babbling geometry equations in their sleep, you can help develop confidence with pep talks like, "You have really done great studying, and you know this stuff cold. You are going to be in good shape for the exam."
Offer perspective. Test-anxiety, which is an important predictor of both test scores and GPA, is in large part due to a fear of failure. Beyond preparation and confidence, you can help your kids reduce their fear of failure by keeping the consequences of a test in perspective. This, however, is a delicate balance. You want the test to be important enough to inspire hard work and preparation, but you also want your kid to understand that it isn't the end of the world if she doesn't ace any given exam. There is no single test that affects the rest of your child's life: grades can be increased and tests can be taken again. Your kid will get into a good college no matter what SAT score she gets. Let your child know that no matter how she does you will love her and her life will be just fine.
Control yourself. Keeping things in perspective for your kids is important. But guess who else needs to keep kids' tests in perspective? Here are three hints: he's good looking, smart, and has a good sense of humor. That's right, it's you! Many parents cause their kids' fear of failure and test anxiety with an "Ivy League or Bust" attitude. So explain not only to your kids but to the mirror that everything will be just fine no matter how your child does on any given exam. To avoid putting extra pressure on your kids, hide your own nervousness about big tests, and don't over-react to failures or successes. That means if your kid gets a B on a spelling exam, don't say, "Well there's always trade school," and if he gets an A, don't kiss the floor with shouts of "My prayers have been answered! Hallelujah!"
Relaxation. Research shows that relaxation training can significantly reduce test anxiety and improve test scores. Different people like different techniques, such as breathing exercises, visualization of a relaxing place, and physical activity. Some people find that simply becoming aware of a physiological symptom helps alleviate that symptom. For example, people can reduce high pulse rates just by being aware of their pulse. Work with your kids to determine how they can relax themselves before and during exams.
Keep up good health. Besides the general health benefits of exercise and eating right, a healthy lifestyle increase focus, memory, and attention span. Apparently things have changed since we went to college because instant ramen, pizza, and coke are no longer considered brain foods. Help your kids maintain a healthy lifestyle, and eat a nutritious breakfast on test days.
Talk about good test-taking techniques. Beyond helping your kids learn to prepare for exams and handle test anxiety, you can talk about some techniques that can help maximize their performance on test day. Teach your kids to read everything, including instructions, carefully. Remind them to read and eliminate bad answer choices even if they think they have already found the correct answer. Discuss time management. Test takers often get bogged down or discouraged by one hard question, while it is best to just skip that question and move on. Finally, explain why to never leave questions blank-even a random guess has some chance of being correct.
Review tests. When your kids get tests back, make sure to review them together. Give your kids positive feedback on what they did well, and discuss a plan to fix what could have gone better. If the test didn't go well and you can't find ways to improve, consider lawsuits and/or threatening phone calls.

Unfortunately, our test-centered culture has created anxious students who aren't always able to perform to their full potential. But parents can have a profound impact on their kids' exam success. First and foremost, help your child learn to prepare. But then help focus on the mental aspects of test taking. Teach your kids to relax, help them gain confidence, and most importantly remind them-and remind yourself-that these tests are not the end of the world. With love, focus, and hard work, your kids will be successful both on tests and in life.

Other Links:

Test taking resources

Test taking tips