Body Savvy

Savvy Life Skill: Self-Image not Based on Appearances

tony — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 14:39:29 -0700

Does your son care more about getting the most recent Kobe sneakers than getting A's in school? Does your two-year-old reject her Gerber sweet potatoes because she is limiting her carbs? Would your daughter list Lindsay Lohen as a great American hero? Don't fret. Your children are normal. Kids are increasingly obsessed with looks, weight, clothes, exercise, sneakers, and celebrities. But these image-conscious interests can lead to a lot of problems. Pediatricians report that kids are eating less healthy at younger ages in order to have what they perceive as better bodies. In fact, 83% of sixth grade girls and over 25% of first graders report having dieted, and eating disorders are rising dramatically. Boys are focused on their physiques at the expense of their health. One study showed that one in eight teenage boys use potentially unhealthy supplements on a weekly basis to improve their bodies. Other problems linked to an unhealthy obsession with image include lower self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. Parents, however, can help dramatically by offering perspective on our media-driven and consumer-heavy culture. Parents can also help kids focus more on who they are and less on the brands they wear or how much they weigh. Here are some ways to get started:

Words matter. What parents say matters. A lot. Parent's praise, criticism, and comments weigh heavily on their kids-- both when the target of the comments are the kids themselves or others. So if you praise your daughter only for her looks, she will focus more on looking cute than on developing other skills. If you frequently take bets with your family on how many hot dogs fat Uncle Louis will eat at the family BBQ, you are showing your own acute awareness of the weight of others. Both actions send the wrong message. Try to get weight and fat out of your vocabulary, and praise your kids for their talents, not their looks.
Actions matter more. Parents' actions are even more important than their words. Studies show that if parents are obsessed with image, their kids will be too. So you can tell your daughter she is beautiful just the way she is, but if you then go out for a six-mile jog, eat a salad (no croutons, dressing on the side), and stand in front of the mirror sucking in your gut looking depressed, your daughter is going to be obsessing with her own body, diet, and weight in no time at all.
Beware of the media. Many experts say that our cultural focus on self-image can be blamed on the media. According to them, advertisers conduct extensive psychological research on how to best sell products to our kids, which often feed on our children's insecurities and teach them that certain products will make them safe, happy, loved, popular, or attractive. Thus, it's not surprising that two-thirds of girls report that magazine pictures affect their own body image, or that frequent viewing of music videos has been found to increase the desire to diet. An easy solution is to limit media extensively, as the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends. If you decide to let your kids indulge, talk to them about the airbrushing, surgeries, fulltime trainers, drugs, and dieticians required to get those seemingly perfect bodies. Talk about how the media and advertising industries work. Discuss how certain ads, shows, or products make your kids feel. An awareness of the effects of media and advertising might give your kids some much-needed perspective.
Teasing can hurt self-image. Many people report that teasing-even friendly teasing from friends-is what starts bad self-image. In your own house, make sure that no teasing is allowed. If your child is getting upset from teasing by friends, work with your kid on being assertive and asking his friends to stop. Some experts recommend that kids can stop teasing by simply admitting the teaser's accusation without getting upset. Maybe your kid can say, "Yes, I wear glasses. I guess that means I have four eyes. Did you come up with that one yourself, or do you have a writer?"
Encourage kids to be healthy. Some experts say dieting or restricting calories will hurt children's self-image. Other experts say overweight children have long-term health risks and can have self-esteem problems. But how can you balance these two pieces of advice and help your "big-boned" child lose weight without restricting calories? You should focus on exercise and eating right, not the pounds. So, if your kid only wants to eat Ding Dongs and Krispy Kremes, don't say, "No more donuts, chubs." Instead say, "Donuts aren't healthy. Let's eat an apple, which has more nutrients, and see if you are still hungry." Focusing on healthy choices rather than obsessing over weight makes all the difference.

By being conscious of the development of your child's self-image, you can help your kid feel more comfortable with who they are. Further, by encouraging your kids to develop their talents and succeed in other activities like sports, music, or school, they will develop self-esteem in areas unrelated to image, and their focus on superficial qualities will naturally recede. By keeping communication open, encouraging healthy choices, and setting a good example, you can help your child gain confidence and become comfortable being herself regardless of her shape or wardrobe.

Savvy Life Skill: Being Active for a Lifetime

tony — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 14:13:11 -0700

Has your son asked you to drive him to the next-door neighbor's house? Is Wii bowling your kids' idea of a good work-out? Does your daughter ask for TV munchies via a walkie-talkie? If you answered yes to any of these (or even if you didn't), you probably need to encourage your kids to get more exercise. This country faces a serious exercise problem. Kids are spending an unprecedented amount of time on TV, video games, and computers, and four times as many kids are overweight than in the 1970s. Exercise is not only essential for maintaining a healthy weight, it also develops strong muscles and bones. It decreases the risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and some forms of cancer. It improves self-image and concentration, and it decreases depression, anxiety, and stress. Certainly, there are many components to good health, such as eating right, having fortunate genetics, and living tobacco-free. But exercise plays a major role in a healthy lifestyle, and it is something that parents can profoundly affect. By using the following tips, you can help your kids enjoy exercise and embrace a lifetime of staying physically fit.

Promote some exercise every day. Exercise isn't taking your kid to the park on Sundays. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommends that children have moderate to vigorous exercise for 60 minutes almost every day. Older kids can participate in sports or other active activities, but when kids are young you have to ensure they exercise frequently. No plopping your toddler on the treadmill to crawl while you watch American Idol. Go to the park, run around in the backyard, chase some balls-show them that you love being active too!
Plan active family time. Help your kids look forward to exercise by finding fun and active family activities. Instead of movie night, take group tennis lessons. Instead of a fancy dinner, ride bikes or take a hike. Enthusiasm is infectious so make sure to find activities that aren't just fun for your kids but are fun for you as well.
Find the activities your kids like. Encourage your kids to get involved in an extracurricular activity that involves exercise. Many people report sports to be one of the most enriching experiences growing up because it makes exercise fun, creates lasting friendships, and teaches perseverance and teamwork. Other kids couldn't be paid enough to pick up a mitt or go chasing around after a ball. If your kid doesn't like sports, that's fine. But still try to find some activity that keeps him active every day like swimming lessons, martial arts, jogging, dancing, biking, or skateboarding.
Limit TV and computer time. The average kid spends 5 ½ hours of free time per day on sedentary activities like video games, TV, or computers; kids aged 12 and up spend nearly seven! Clearly, if we want healthy kids, this cannot go on. Talk with them to find a reasonable limit on TV and computer time. Perhaps make your kids earn time with exercise. And, although this might seem an extreme measure, spend some time with your children away from computers and television. The only way a kid can average 7 hours of TV and computer time a day is if they have almost no other activities. If they are spending time both with you and in extracurricular activities, their time vegging out will naturally decrease.
Be a role model. Talk to your kids about why exercise needs to be a priority and then practice what you preach. If you are not in your best shape (i.e., your business pants have elastic waists), or you are only a moderate exerciser (no, golf doesn't count), then you should be inspired to get healthy yourself, if only to be a role model.
Make healthy choices. Teach your kids how to make healthy choices. Get them to take the stairs rather than the elevator, and have them walk the 6 blocks to the park rather than being driven. If they get tired walking, roll down the window and give them a pep talk before you drive on.

Exercise isn't just healthy, it's fun. So getting your kids excited about being active should be an easier task than getting them psyched about homework or vegetables. If you start early, figure out what your kids enjoys, and show that you love exercise too, you should have no problem getting your kids (and yourself) off the couch, and excited about an active and healthy lifestyle.

Savvy Life Skill: Rest

tony — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 14:06:02 -0700

Once upon a time, parents worried about their kids being out late at night getting into trouble. For many, those days are gone. Now, with volleyball practice, flute lessons, homework, play rehearsals, and the school newspaper, our kids can't find a place to schedule "Getting into Trouble" on their Blackberries. But our kids are also having trouble finding time to relax, sleep, and spend time with family and friends, and this busy lifestyle is beginning to take its toll. According to recent studies, our kids are overworked, overstressed, and under-rested. As a result, they have shown an extreme rise in the amount of related mental health problems. These problems can be fixed by us, dads. Although we want our kids to succeed, we must ensure that they maintain a healthy, sustainable lifestyle. By working on the following concepts with our kids, we can help them balance the demands of school and extracurricular activities with their need for sleep, relaxation, and time with friends and family.

Watch for the warning signs of an exhausted child. Kids often don't complain about being overscheduled because they simply don't know how to gauge their own physical and mental limits. Kids might not know what stress feels like, so they won't realize a 20 hour shift at the lemonade stand is a long day. You have more experience with stress and exhaustion, so you can help your kids figure out when they are tired. Talk to your kids about how they are feeling. Observe whether they seem overworked or stressed out. Watch for warning signs like decreases in grades, stomach aches or other illnesses, depression and anxiety, or new bad behaviors.
Don't buy into the hyper-parenting culture. Behind every overextended kid, there is a well-meaning parent. Some parents think that if their kid is exposed to every possible activity, maybe one will be a natural fit, so their kids must try wrestling, fencing, horseback riding, chess, and jazz tap. Other parents worry about college admissions, so they push their kids to develop their resume by publishing papers in science journals and building computers for the homeless. Others think they are in a competition with other parents and the scorecard is the kids. To avoid putting unnecessary pressures on your kid, spend some serious time reflecting on what is truly best for your child-not what the culture pushes for, not what the guidance counselors say, not what your neighbor's kid does, and not what feels good to brag about-but what will best help your child develop into a happy, healthy, and intelligent person.
Downtime is essential. A top researcher on development found that unstructured playtime helps kids develop greater resourcefulness, initiative, and imagination. He found that overscheduled kids have problems as adults managing their own time, organizing their lives, and managing stress. So if your child has two hours free on Sunday, don't immediately think he is going soft and sign him up for Portuguese lessons. Your kids need sufficient time to hang out and just be kids.
Set priorities. Children often feel pressure to be in many activities and excel at them all. This can create stress and exhaustion, and take the joy out of participating. You should help your child make hard choices so they don't commit to too much. Try making a list of priorities, and remind them that they don't have to be the best at everything-it's ok to be in some activities just for fun. You might ask, "Do you want to make varsity basketball next year? To have the time to work on basketball, you probably should cut out Hip Hop Dance Class. Perhaps you can keep orchestra, but not try for first chair, and just do it for fun." If a new activity comes up, talk about what they will have to drop to make that activity work and still have time for rest, friends, and family.
Your kids need sleep. Overscheduled, stressed, or worried kids often start sleeping less than they should, and sleep deprivation has serious consequences. It decreases learning and memory; increases risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, and obesity; and leads to attention problems and hyperactivity. Make sure your kids are getting enough sleep. The proper amount of sleep is different for each kid, so it's most important that your child seems rested, but on average five to twelve-year-olds should be sleeping 10-11 hours a night, and teens should get 9 ½ hours. Keep in mind that kids sleep better if they exercise every day and have some quiet activities at night. Kids sleep worse if they have too much chocolate, sodas, and sugars, or if they spend excessive time watching TV or playing on the computer.
Model being able to relax. If you want to help your kid have a more balanced life, you can't schedule family time in between your 7PM conference call and your 7:45PM squash game at the club. If you work 80 hours a week, miss family dinners and activities, and only sleep 5 hours a night, you can be sure that your kid won't prioritize downtime either. Take time to stop and smell the roses with your kids. Demonstrate that it is possible to successfully balance career, family, and life.

Of course we want our kids to succeed. We want them to go to good colleges. We want them to learn how to work hard, master skills, and feel good about their achievements. And of course we don't want to discourage them from participating in activities they are excited about. It's a challenging task to find the perfect schedule-especially because every child is different and their needs may change from day to day-but you and your kids can do it. Just remind your child and yourself that more does not mean better. Resist feeling pressure from the current frenetic and overachieving culture. Remember that the happiness and health of your kids, not achievement, is your top priority. With love, honest conversation, and introspection, you and your child should be able to find the perfect balance so that your kid can experience a variety of activities and achieve success while living a sustainable, happy, and rested life.

Savvy Life Skill: Eating Right for a Lifetime

tony — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:31:38 -0700

Few doubt the benefits of healthy eating for kids. In the short term, a healthy diet improves behavior and performance in school, and in the long term, it decreases the risk of cancer, heart disease, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure. This is why most parents fight the good fight: despite their kids' adamant protests, parents limit McDonalds, force-feed some vegetables, and restrict junk food before meals. But many parents don't realize that healthy eating does not have to be a daily struggle. Studies show that early education and healthy patterns can make kids actually enjoy nutritious foods so parents don't have to fight the daily Battle of the Greens. Below are ways you can help your kids learn about nutrition, prefer healthy foods, and enjoy a lifetime of eating right.

It starts with you. Most parents agree that the best vegetables are potatoes (when fried), tomatoes (when in the form of ketchup), and cucumbers (when pickled and placed between a bun and 16 ounces of beef). But we can't expect to successfully stuff fresh green beans into our kids while we chow down on hamburgers every chance we get. Kids want to eat what their parents eat. So if you want your kid to eat healthy (without violence) you are going to have to win an Oscar for your performance in "A Man and his Brussels Sprouts: A Love Affair."
Try to convince Mom to eat healthy too. Moms are more than just role models. Their eating habits actually affect kids' future tastes. Studies show that if mothers eat fruits and veggies during pregnancy and nursing, their kids are more likely to prefer healthy foods. Sorry, dads. Unfortunately pregnancy can't be a nine-month pizza eating, milk-shake chugging, I-gained-20-pounds-and-I'm-not-even-carrying-a-baby weight-gain contest between you and your wife. Despite her protests, you actually have to encourage her to eat fruits and vegetables. This may help you keep off the daddy pregnancy weight, and give your kids a taste for veggies, which will make your life easier down the road.
It starts young. Research shows that kids develop preferences for foods by age three that last throughout their lives. So you should try to develop healthy tastes early. Expose your kids to many types of fruits and vegetables, and don't get discouraged. You might give your infant a little sweet potato, and she will spit it out with a disdainful "You think I eat this garbage?" stare. Try it again later in the week. After several exposures kids often begin to like a food that they were absolutely refusing a few days earlier.
Avoid excessive additives. At a young age, kids develop a taste for additives, food coloring, and preservatives. These are almost impossible to avoid entirely, but it is good to limit the amount of processed foods your baby eats. Some parents like using organic baby foods, while others find that making baby food at home is easier than they expected. Homemade baby food is fresher and cheaper, and it gives you the ability to expose your baby to a wide range of fruits and vegetables.
Get kids involved. Studies show that kids eat better if they know about nutrition. Don't just say, "Eat the spinach. I will not admit that it looks like a slimy, wet ball of grass. Eat it anyway." Instead, explain the concepts. Talk about how eating keeps you healthy. Look at the food pyramid together to plan out weekly requirements. Take your kids to the store and give them the freedom to pick out their favorite fruits or healthy snacks to have around the house. Get them involved in preparing meals. Kids are much more likely to eat a food that they know about, picked, and helped prepare than a food that they are unfamiliar with.
Make healthy foods desirable. If you always have battles over vegetables and then reward your kids with cookies, you are sending a certain message: healthy foods are a chore, and junk food is a treat. This pattern will ensure that your kids skip the healthy food when you aren't around to be the enforcer. Try rewarding your kids with raspberries rather than candy or junk food. Don't try to force down vegetables that they hate. Instead, stick with the veggies they like, or try to find new ways to prepare the vegetables they don't like.
Sugar-free does not mean healthy. To avoid sugary drinks just give your kids diet coke, right? Wrong. The artificial chemicals in diet sodas have been linked with hyperactivity, and rat studies show that artificial sweetener is linked with obesity. Diet sodas are much less healthy than most people realize. Try sticking with water or juices with no added sugars.

Healthy eating is part awareness and part attitude. When we treat fruits and vegetables like a necessary evil that must be choked down, we shouldn't be surprised that our kids don't favor nutritious foods when they have the choice. But by surrounding our kids with delicious, healthy foods, eating right won't be a chore, it will be the norm. If you talk to your kids about healthy eating, start good habits young, demonstrate a healthy lifestyle, and involve your kids in the process, you will have a sprout-loving little one in no time at all.

Other Links:
Study that shows children can be taught to eat right

More junk food while pregnant or breastfeeding will increase risk of obesity

What you eat can affect test scores and hyperactivity:

Colorings and preservatives cause hyperactivity

Making fresh baby food

The food pyramid resource