Child

How to Deal with Your Daughter's Hair (and why)

tony — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 14:21:09 -0700

Most guys would rather do anything else than read about hair styling, but if you've got a daughter, hair can be an important issue. Hair is generally seen as a sign of beauty for females, and this is impressed upon girls at a very young age-whenever they get a new haircut or wear a cute barrette, everyone tells them how pretty they look, so they start caring about their hair pretty early on. Plus, girls usually wear their hair longer, so at a minimum, your daughter's hair needs to be brushed through and styled in a way that keeps it out of her face (and the fingerpaints). So before we get to the issue of styling, here are a few pointers on brushing and combing long hair.

Wet hair: Comb through her hair as soon as possible after you wash it (and use a comb, not a brush). Once the hair starts to air-dry, it's harder to comb out the tangles. For girls with thick or very long hair, avoid tears with using conditioner or some spray-on detangler-you can get it at most drugstores or kids' hair salons. Also, for thicker hair, a wide-tooth comb works best.
Dry hair: If you're facing a serious case of bedhead, you need to work through those tangles with care. Take a handful of hair and hold it at the top, near her scalp, then use a comb to pick through the snarls. (It may be tempting to just yank through the tangles, but that technique hurts. A lot.) When all the tangles are out, give her whole head a once-over with the comb or brush.

While a quick brush-through and a barrette are sometimes enough, especially when you're late for school, you will occasionally be called upon to perform a little more artistry. Here are a few basic hairstyles for little girls, from easiest to hardest, and how to create them. (Note: Be sure to use elastics made for use on hair-you can get small ones designed for kids. But NEVER use a regular rubber band, or it will take scissors to get it out.)
Ponytail: Scoop up all of her hair with one hand, and with the other, comb through the hair on the top and sides of her head to smooth it out. You can make a low ponytail at the back of her neck, a high ponytail up at the crown of her head, or something in between. Then wrap an elastic around the hair. Put a ribbon or scrunchie around the elastic if she wants to look fancy. Once you've mastered that, you can also do a partial ponytail, where you just use the hair on top of her head and pull it back.
Pigtails: Pigtails are just two ponytails, on either side of the head. Begin by parting the hair into two sections. You do this by taking a comb, placing the tip at the top of the back of her head, and drawing a straight line down to her neck; make sure the part is straight and centered. Wrap each section of hair in an elastic, a little bit behind the ear, at whatever height she likes. When you're done, look at her from the front to make sure the pigtails are at about the same place on each side.
Braids: Braiding seems hard at first, but after you've done it a few times, it gets easy-it's just a matter of getting the pattern down. Divide the hair into three even sections. Take the right section and cross it over the center section. Then take the left section and cross it over the center section (which was formerly the right section). Keep alternating, crossing the right and left sections over the center section, tightening the braid as you go until you're a couple inches from the end of the hair. Secure it with an elastic. Check out this video to see how it's done. You can also make braid pigtails, parting the hair as described above and braiding each section separately.
French braids: Don't even try this until you've got regular braiding down pat. French braiding is a little more difficult, and requires a degree of manual dexterity, but little girls just love to have their hair French braided because it looks so pretty. You start by gathering a small section of hair at the crown of her head, and dividing that section into three. Then criss-cross each side section over the center section as described above, but the trick is that before you cross a side section, you add a little more hair to that section. It's not easy at first, but it's also not as hard as it sounds-and probably easier to understand if you see it.

Please note that some girls may have hair that requires more specialized treatment; for example, for girls with very curly or kinky hair, it may not be necessary-or advisable-to comb it through. With these girls, you may just need to call in some female assistance. But once you learn how to do a few cute hairstyles for your little girl, she's going to think you're awesome (and the women in your life will be pretty impressed too).

Is football safe for kids?

Philmundo — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:01:48 -0700

by Phil Stott

About a month ago, my brother-in-law sent me a video of his four-year-old son's first touchdown in a flag football game. It's remarkable in several ways: first, that my nephew seems to understand the purpose of the game at such a young age-when he gets the ball in his own half of the field his first instinct is to head for the opposition end zone. Second: he understood that once he crossed the end zone line, he could stop running. And, third, he threw a proper football pass to the referee when returning the ball. A couple of weeks later, as if to prove it was no fluke, he did it again, and my brother-in-law again captured the evidence on video. Clearly he's a boy who's going to grow up loving his sport, and perhaps even has a natural aptitude for it.

All well and good, I thought. As someone who loves sport myself (albeit the other kind of "football"), I can remember the point in my childhood where I became infatuated with it-and it's lasted to this day. Becoming obsessed by a sport is a pleasure that, while not unique to boys, certainly seems to be more common among them-at least in my experience. Seeing that bloom in my nephew is a heart-warming thing, and I was happy both for him and his Dad, who is perhaps the quintessential jock-one that, to be honest, I don't know would have been able to relate to a son that didn't play sports.

My happiness for them both lasted approximately a week-right up until I read this disturbing piece on pro football in the New Yorker. While the premise of the piece is to present a parallel between football and dogfighting-a case that rests on a link between "gameness" in fighting dogs that keep coming back for more to please their owners and the culture in football of playing through pain, even to the detriment of your long-term wellbeing-the most disturbing evidence it offers is on the prevalence of serious brain injuries among ex football players.

Sure, the piece mainly details autopsy results of guys who have made the pros, therefore subjecting themselves to many more hits to the head-and at greater speeds from bigger guys-than someone who only plays through high school, but the evidence is frightening nonetheless. Guys in their forties showing symptoms of Alzheimer's disease normally seen only in the very elderly-the likely cause: brain damage from too many hits. The brain of an eighteen year-old who had "been playing football for a couple of years" with the kind of damage not normally seen in someone at 50, much less his own age.

There's obviously a long way between a fledgling love affair with flag football and taking recurring hits with the force of a car crash, but nonetheless the article left me concerned about my nephew. After all, I became obsessed with soccer at a very young age, and am still playing the game over a quarter of a century later (and, yes, typing that does make me feel very, very old)-who's to say he's not going to do the same with football? Even if he doesn't, even if he only plays until the end of high school, the evidence in the New Yorker piece suggests he's still got a better than average chance of sustaining some sort of damage to his brain from all the collisions.

Given all of that, then, it makes me wonder: is there anyone out there who's happy that their kid's playing football? And if so, why?

Social Networking and Kids

Philmundo — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:58:23 -0700

by Phil Stott

How many reports of people over-exposing themselves on social networking sites and then coming to regret it do we need to hear before we start thinking before posting or tweeting? Take the recent case of Washington Redskins linebacker Robert Henson venting his rage at "dim-wit" fans who booed their team as an example. Here's a guy who doesn't even make the starting line-up in the team, and yet he somehow feels like he's earned the right to attack the team's fans via Twitter when they show their displeasure with the Redskins' performance. As with all things social network-ish, he started out expressing his feelings to a few followers only to see his comments (52 tweets in all) passed around the internet like wildfire.

Now, I don't much care about how the Redskins play, or the fate of Robert Henson, but what does interest me is how he seemed to forget-or more likely just didn't care-about airing his thoughts in a public format in the way he did. I know that, if I were to lose it like that and make similar comments either about my employer or our customers in such a public forum, I'd probably be embarking on a search for a new job in the not-too-distant future. Because I'm well aware of how powerful viral networking can be, I stay well away from discussing anything of the sort online (at least in a way that can be traced back to me!).

Unfortunately, for those with kids that are old enough to be tech-savvy, it's not enough to look after how you're representing yourself digitally; you need to be aware of what your kids are up to online as well. I know one guy (an ex-cop) who regularly logs into his teenage daughter's Facebook page to see what she and her friends have been up to, or are planning (she has no idea he knows the password). I'm not recommending that anyone go that far, but it certainly doesn't hurt to sit down with your kids, lay some ground rules, and make sure they're aware of the bigger picture when using social networking sites. Here, then, are three things every kid should know:

1)    If you don't want the "wrong" people to find out, don't put it on Twitter

It's difficult to imagine that Henson didn't know that his comments could spread like wildfire across the Twittersphere. But if a more-or-less grown adult can make that kind of mistake, a tween or teen can too. So if they've got something negative (or embarrassing) they need to say about a teacher, classmate or acquaintance, tell them to do it the old-fashioned way: face-to-face. That way, the possibility of viral spreading is all but eliminated; all you have to worry about is someone recording you!

2)    People aren't always who they say they are online

Case in point: Lori Drew, better known as the Missouri mom who is accused of taking part in a bullying campaign on MySpace that drove a 13 year old girl to commit suicide. Having been acquitted of all charges of computer hacking (see the full story in the link above), it seems that there's little police can do to try and bring her to justice, as there's no statute in Missouri against cyber-bullying. While that case is an extreme one, it's also one that starkly underlines the dangers of kids being suckered into believing that the people they're talking to online are who they claim to be. Good rule of thumb: If you don't talk to them in real life, don't talk to them online.

3)    Close your networks

Sure, there's a certain thrill to putting your thoughts and personality out there in cyberspace for all to see. Not restricting profiles on social networks to only people you know and trust, however, greatly increases the chance of all of the previous things going wrong: people misrepresenting themselves, and you, cyber-stalking, bullying, the works. In fact, as parents, it may be worth making this-and the agreement that you get to check in on their accounts every once in a while-part of any bargain with a kid who wants to get involved in social networking.

5 Tips to Save on School Lunches

Philmundo — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 08:33:58 -0700

by Phil Stott

You know how it is; you want to give your child as healthy and nutritious lunch as possible, and to fill their lunchbox with all the things you know they enjoy, but all those juice boxes and pre-packaged snacks can really begin to add up. Here, then, are 5 ways to control the cost of what goes into Junior's lunch box while ensuring that you're not cutting down on quality.

Cut down the juice (or cut it out)

There are two important labels to consider when looking at juice boxes for kids: the one on the shelf in the store that tells you the price per gallon, and the one on the box with the calories and ingredients. When you check out the former, you realize that the bigger the container, the cheaper the contents become-the bonus of buying in bulk. So if you do send your kids to school with juice, get the biggest container of it you can find and portion it out into a reusable cup for your child every day. Also, don't be afraid to water it down (or cut it out altogether): that nutrition label reveals that most fruit juices have a staggering amount of sugar and calories, most of which your child is probably better off without.

Use leftovers

You're not too proud to parcel up the leftovers from one meal and haul them in for a cheap lunch at work, right? So why be afraid of doing so for your child? Obviously you don't want to send them in with something that's going to be too messy (leftover ribs, anyone?) or that will require any kind of preparation, but leftover slices of pizza are sure to be a hit, while things like chicken can be re-used in sandwiches.

Make your own...

No matter what food you name, it's usually cheaper and healthier to make your own version of it, even if it takes a little effort. And the best part: you can get your kids involved. Try making your own cookies or brownies for snack-time treats, or even your own soups for hot, healthy lunches (you might need to invest a little in a decent thermos, though).

Ditch the brown bags-and the plastic ones

Splash out a little on a lunchbox and a couple of plastic or (even better) metal containers for your child. Not only will they enjoy toting their favorite cartoon character or sports team with them every day, it'll also save you a bundle in the long run on all those plastic baggies and brown paper sacks.

The more adventurous (or less time-stretched) among you may want to try stepping it up a notch on your kids' lunches as well. For that reason, I offer the following link to a phenomenon I read about in the New York Times recently: kid-friendly bento boxes. Be warned, though: you may well end up feeling like the most inadequate parent in the world.

Ask your child what they want

Remember getting to school as a kid only to open your lunchbox and find that you hated what was inside? I got caught on more than one occasion trying to ditch my sandwiches in the lunchroom trashcan. Don't have your kids going through the day hungry: talk to them about what they'd like-and about what worked and didn't work. One of the big treats when I was growing up in Britain was to get a jelly sandwich with one of these cookies in it-ridiculously unhealthy, but really good. What my mum didn't realize, though, was that if she put the sandwich together in the morning, the jelly caused the cookie to get mushy. Solution: pack them separately, allow the child to assemble (the same goes for any sandwich where one ingredient has to stay crispy).

Getting Ready for Soccer

Philmundo — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 07:52:26 -0700

by Phil Stott

With the fall soccer season starting any day now (if it hasn't already), I thought I'd take the opportunity to offer a few words of wisdom on outfitting your child. Hopefully they're not too late and, even if they are for this year, there's always next season!

One of the benefits of soccer-and it's something that's struck me more than once in the 20+ years I've been playing the game-is that you don't need much in the way of equipment. Once you've got a ball, some cleats, and a pair of shin guards, you've got pretty much everything the pros have. Having said that, it's still possible to spend way more than you need when outfitting a child for the coming season. Part of the aim of this guide is to make sure you don't do that.

The ball

Those of us who have been playing the game for a while know the difference between a 32-panel stitched leather ball and the top-flight, seamless synthetic numbers the pros use (with this being the current holder of the "daddy-of-them-all" title). A 5-year old learning the game will not. A 12 year old who's been playing the game for a few years might know the theory, but it won't matter; the top-of-the-line technologies only benefit the best players in the world. How much truer do you want a shot that only travels 30 feet to fly?

Aside from the cost, the major thing you want to keep in mind when selecting a soccer ball for a child is size. Adult-sized balls (no giggling at the back!) are marked with a 5, with size 4's being appropriate for those between 8 and 12. Under 8's, meanwhile, will probably fare best with a size 3.

The cleats

It's difficult to know what to recommend with cleats, because once you achieve basic functionality, the rest is about personal style. The kids' models I've seen range as high as $80, but there are perfectly serviceable models out there for as little as $15. Just make sure they fit-a cleat that's too big will only impair your child's ability to control the ball (because they won't be able to feel it). Also, be sure to find out where they'll be playing the majority of their soccer-turf fields require a very different cleat than a soft grass field. But don't be pressured into buying a whole new pair of cleats for a single game on a different surface-turf shoes will work just fine on grass provided it isn't too slippy, while running shoes also work in a fix for turf.

Shin guards

The cheapest thing you'll have to buy, but essential for keeping your child's legs safe from all those other flailing limbs out there. There's really only one choice to make when picking a shin guard: ankle guards or no? As someone with a history of ankle problems, I like the extra feeling of security I get from the models that have an ankle guard attached to the shin portion. It also stops the shin guard from moving as much when you run. Best bet: get your kid to try a couple of pairs on and see what they like-some will be put off by the additional bulk around their ankle, or the strap on their foot.

Extras

Times have certainly changed from when I was learning to play the game. Back in the day, you took your cleats to games in a grocery bag inside your school backpack, and hoped you remembered your shin guards into the bargain. These days, there are specially-designed backpacks that even have carrying pouches for the ball-perhaps the only "must-have" additional item I've come across, if only to ease organizational headaches for parents. That's not to say, however, that there aren't other things that would be a good idea. A cheap ball-pump is a must, as are the thickest-soled socks you can find-in soccer cleats you need all the cushioning you can get. All the costly practice aids out there, however-the balls on strings, the boards to bounce a ball off, the goal for the back yard-can be replaced by one simple thing: the side of a house and a touch of imagination.

Elmo's mom gets laid off

Philmundo — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:40:45 -0700

by Phil Stott

It's probably fitting that this week-the one-year anniversary of the beginning of the financial meltdown that has caused carnage in the economy and led to millions of job losses across the country-is the week that Elmo finds out his mom has lost her job on Sesame Street. Not literally-the actress will still be appearing on the show-but her character will break the news to Elmo on September 9 on PBS (that's on Wednesday-check your local listings for the exact air time).

Among the important lessons Elmo (and by extension any kids watching the show) will learn are that cutbacks are needed: so trips to amusement parks are canceled in favor of trips to the playground, while visits to the cinema become nights at home with a DVD instead. Also important: Elmo learns that it's not his fault and that there's a big difference between needs (things like food) and wants (things like toys).

In a country now boasting an unemployment rate of 9.7 percent, the upcoming episode is both timely and potentially very useful for any parent who finds themselves in the situation of having to explain a downturn in their family's personal fortunes to their kid. (OK, so it might have been more timely back in the spring when companies were announcing layoffs with such frequency that it seemed like a competition, but beggars can't be choosers.)

Anyway, to further set the scene, here's Elmo appearing on the Today show last weekend to discuss the economic situation (no, really!), and provide some lead-in to Wednesday's show

AND HERE'S THE LINK (just in case): http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/32713599#32713599

Daddy I Want

stublandford — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 13:15:43 -0700

Again our cast of characters -

Me (The Daddy)
The Bean: Age 7
The Butterfly: Age 5
The Loving Understanding Wife

About an hour after I'd finished Daddy I Want to go to the Beach, I was supposed to take the Bean and the Butterfly to eat at our favorite (read closest) Mexican restaurant, La Parilla. This usually involves the girls eating cheese dip for dinner; however, recently The Bean has started eating refried beans. Go figure.

In the book, the main character (Lily) won't go to the beach until her sandals, her Mermaid Barbi, her swim goggles, etc are found. By the Daddy. Lily waits and paints her toes while the Daddy looks high and low for Lily's belongings (she doesn't feel the need to help).

Lily is based loosely on The Bean. However, in this instance, it is The Butterfly's turn at bat.

Get this: I announce that it's time to get in the minivan (the convertible is in the shop, I swear.) The Bean is all excited. She dashes to the garage and proceeds to strap herself into her car seat (yeah, they grow up so fast, but it can be very convenient).

But The Butterfly throws a fit. She doesn't like the dress she's wearing. She wants the one that Grammy got her. She shrugs when I ask what it looks like.

So we go through her closet and the laundry room. I don't have a clue what I'm looking for, but somehow we find it.

Get your Crocs, I say. Let's go, I say.

No!

Crocs are stupid. I want my sandals. SANDALS!!!

Stop me if this sounds familiar.

The Butterfly proceeds to sit on the floor and not help. So The Bean (she's come back inside wondering WTF) and I do a room-by-room search for sandals.

We finally find them and go off for a wonderful meal of beans, cheese dip and Margaritas.

Savvy Daddies Worldwide

Reading: More Than Just Books

Philmundo — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 11:42:07 -0700

by Phil Stott

As someone who's always read, and who basically makes his living from being able to read and write, I've always known that reading is important. And that a love of reading begins in childhood. What I didn't know until I read this piece in The New York Times, however, was exactly how important reading is to a child's development. According to the article, kids who don't read during their summer vacation fall behind those who do: whether by their own choice or through being forced to at home or summer camp. And that's not just a "well, duh!" moment that gets wiped out easily once school starts again; kids who don't get a mental workout over the summer vacation display demonstrably lower I.Q. scores than they did before the vacation. The advantage for a child who keeps mentally active over the break, therefore, is clear to see.

Now, the piece in the Times was more or less an excuse for the writer to compile a list of his all-time favorite children's books. Having grown up in Britain, my own list would probably look significantly different (although Harry Potter and the Hardy Boys would still make it onto mine), but the point of this piece isn't to provide recommendations or any kind of exercise in nostalgia.

Rather, what I'd like to make a case for is the role that environment plays in reading-and it's something that's easily overlooked in an age when kids have so many things competing for their interest and attention.

Hands down the smartest family I know has five kids. One parent is a graduate of Cambridge. The only 2 kids old enough to have graduated high school now attend Princeton and Yale, while the other 3 look set to follow in their footsteps. Their house, as might be expected, is a chaotic mess, the sort of place where you can stumble sideways and bring a wall of books crashing down on you wherever you turn. Clearly the kids have something of a genetic advantage, not to mention a socio-economic one, but it seems to me that there's more to it than just having smart, well-educated parents who seem to have saved every book they or their kids have ever read.

What it comes down to, I think, is that the parents aren't afraid to let their children get bored. None of the kids has their own TV, and the one games console the family owns is located in the living room-a factor that greatly reduces the amount of time the kids can use it. On top of that, the parents limit the time their kids get to spend doing frivolous things on the Internet (i.e. anything that isn't homework-related), and have set up the house with chairs, couches and cushions tucked into just about every nook and cranny that's not occupied by books. The result: a place with lots of quiet, private spaces for a child to sit down and get lost in the pages of whatever they happen to find on the shelves. And, with less competition for their attention, an increased likelihood of that actually occurring.

That's what I mean when I talk about environment. Often, it's not the instructions we give our kids that has the greatest effect on their behavior. (Indeed, in my toddler's case, instructions tend to get me the exact opposite result to the one I'm seeking.) Thus, sitting a child down and telling them to read is likely to be as well received as telling them to eat their vegetables at the dinner table. Creating an environment where reading seems like as natural a diversion as picking up a PSP, however, may just make the difference in ensuring that your child's I.Q. continues to develop all through their lives. So if you're planning on starting any kind of pro-reading campaign this summer, by all means start with someone else's list, but consider also phasing out some of the other distractions in your child's life.

Road Trip: Entertaining the Kids

Philmundo — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 06:29:27 -0700

by Phil Stott

So you've done all the preparations, checked the maps, got the car serviced, and you're pretty much as prepared as you think you can be to spend a few days in the car with the kids. You could be forgiven, though, if you're seeing Griswold family-style mishaps every time you close your eyes, or are having flashbacks to long boring hours spent in the back of the car when you were a kid (it's not that long ago, right?). While the options for in-car entertainment have certainly stepped up a gear or two since I was a kid (let's just say the options on offer back then were such that a fight with a sibling was something to look forward to), I'm not sold on the whole concept of letting kids watch DVDs for the duration of a journey-if you even have it as an option. Sure, they're great for getting a little peace and quiet, but with the whole world passing by right outside your window, it would be a shame for your kids to miss it all for yet another rerun of Ratatouille.

To that end, the 10 suggestions I've listed here for "in-car entertainment" are mostly of the non-electronic variety, and most can be used just as effectively on a trip to the mall as they can to the other side of the country. I'm aware, however, that the list is far from exhaustive. Feel free to make your own suggestions in the comments box at the bottom.

1)      "Pe-diddle"

Everyone knows this one, right? The single best game to play at night, and it can go on for years; trying to be the first to find cars with one head- or tail-light out (and claim it by shouting "pe-diddle"). It might not score high on the list of non-stop action, but the advantage of this one is that you never know what's around the next corner. And it definitely rewards those with an interest in looking outside of the car.

2)      Road bingo

So this one's pretty simple. All you need is paper and a pen. Make up grids (three by three, or four by four are probably enough) and write a random state name in each box-remember to include nearby states that you've got more chance of seeing on plates as you're driving. You can also just give your kids a sheet each and encourage them to write down whichever states they see (highest after a set period of time wins). Completing the full list is probably unlikely, but it would be an interesting challenge/record of your trip. For older kids, you may also want to introduce a rule where only the person who sees a plate first gets to check it off.

An alternative-but one that requires a little more preparation-is to print off picture bingo cards of objects you're likely to encounter. You can find some, plus a ton of other great ideas, at momsminivan.com.

3)      License plate math

One that can be adjusted for all ages/math levels, this basically involves using numbers on license plates to arrive at target numbers, using all the numbers on the plate.

4)      21

Some of you might remember this from drinking games in college, but trust me when I tell you that I've adapted it for use both in classrooms and on road trips, and it works. Basically, it's a memory game where the object is to count to 21, but where numbers get substituted for other things-words, snatches of song, joke challenges, whatever you like. The game goes round the car so each person playing says one number (or its equivalent) in turn. Get it wrong, you're out, and the count starts over from 1 again. Make it to 21, and the person who said the number gets to choose what changes in the nest round. I heartily recommend starting with only one or two numbers substituted out, as a) it stretches the game out and b) it gets difficult fast!

5)      The "quiet" game

Yup, that's right. A game to find out which member of the car can stay silent the longest. Not so much a game as a method of keeping your sanity at times, but highly recommended.

6)      Car color spotting

Similar to license plate bingo, it may be worth having cards made up in advance (or just paper and pens) so the kids can tally what they see.

7)      Cards

One for older kids (and especially useful if you've got more than one, otherwise you'll likely be in the back with them), many a backseat hour can be whiled away with a deck of cards, and the variety of games is almost endless. Also useful for hotel rooms, restaurants, tents and, well, just about anywhere. Warning: be prepared to break up the inevitable disputes if your kids are playing with no adult supervision!

8)      Limerick competitions

You know the rules of limericks, right(LINK)? So why not see who can come up with the best one from the names of towns flashing by you on the signs. Who knows, maybe you'll come up with something as good as this.

9)      I-spy

No, really. I know it gets irritating, but it requires no preparation, no resources, and can last for, well, as long as you can!

10) DVDs.

I know what I said in the introduction, but I didn't say they were a bad thing per se. Chances are, if you've gone through the 9 options above, everyone in the car will be in need of a break. Plus, even the most interested, well-behaved kid needs something fun to look at if you're driving across Ohio!

Taking back the living room

Philmundo — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 07:17:26 -0700

By Phil Stott

So my mother-in-law-Maeve's "Nana"-visited us over Memorial Day weekend and, as seems to be a pattern when you only see your relatives once in a while, identified an area where Meghan and I had given a little too much sway to Maeve. Fortunately for us, it was nothing major, and nothing to do with Maeve's behavior or development. It was, however, something that had been tugging at my subconscious, and nagging me for a solution. In short, we'd given over most of our living room to Maeve's toys, meaning that it had begun, as my mother-in-law put it, to look like a branch of Toys R Us. And it's not like we had that much room to begin with.

The thing is, I know exactly how the problem started, and I was happy with it at the time. With a newborn, there's no point in having a playroom or separate space allocated for toys and the like; you need to keep an eye on them at all times, so it makes sense to have a few things to hand that they can play with in the room where you're most comfortable and spend most of your time. In our case, that meant storing toys in a basket by the TV-an area that later became a de facto dumping ground for any and every toy that came Maeve's way-even as they became too big and way too numerous for the basket. As such, until last weekend, the major material in our living room was brightly colored plastic, in many different shapes and sizes-from rocking giraffes to dolls houses-and the place just never looked completely tidy, let alone like a house where two adults also lived.

As I mentioned above, both Meghan and I knew that this was something of a problem-we just hadn't figured out what to do about it. Or, at least, I hadn't. Meghan had a plan that I'd half listened to and then forgotten about, as the amount of work involved seemed like way too much effort-cleaning out a large closet under our stairs, furnishing it as a storage/playroom, and (the hardest part) finding new homes for all the junk that had been in there.

Once Meghan's mom arrived last week, however, I knew the game was over. Suddenly it was two people willing to do something about the problem against only my apathy, and I was easily outmaneuvered. That meant I spent a good part of my holiday weekend lifting and carrying stuff, assembling IKEA furniture, and, um, cursing as I racked up the usual litany of scrapes and injuries that seem to accompany any hands-on home improvement task. (One saving grace: I did get out of the torment of the IKEA trip by volunteering to stay home and supervise a sleeping daughter-a task that saw me catch up on some much-needed mindless internet gaming.)

Anyway, long story short: we now have a bona fide playroom for Maeve, and I can't believe the difference it's made to our house. I haven't tripped over a toy or stepped on a LEGO in my bare feet all week. It's like being on vacation! More importantly, though, Meghan and I have what feels like an oasis of adult calm in our own home again: a room where we're not constantly staring at toys even as we try to watch a movie; a place that we feel comfortable inviting other adults into, without having to apologize for the toys strewn everywhere. It's one of the best things we've done in a while, and it reminded me of an important rule that I find all too easy to forget: that being a parent doesn't have to mean giving up life as you know it. Well, that, and another one: if you've got stuff in a closet that you haven't used, thought about or even seen for over a year, it's probably safe to get of it.