Survival Guide, Child

How to Deal with Your Daughter's Hair (and why)

tony — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 14:21:09 -0700

Most guys would rather do anything else than read about hair styling, but if you've got a daughter, hair can be an important issue. Hair is generally seen as a sign of beauty for females, and this is impressed upon girls at a very young age-whenever they get a new haircut or wear a cute barrette, everyone tells them how pretty they look, so they start caring about their hair pretty early on. Plus, girls usually wear their hair longer, so at a minimum, your daughter's hair needs to be brushed through and styled in a way that keeps it out of her face (and the fingerpaints). So before we get to the issue of styling, here are a few pointers on brushing and combing long hair.

Wet hair: Comb through her hair as soon as possible after you wash it (and use a comb, not a brush). Once the hair starts to air-dry, it's harder to comb out the tangles. For girls with thick or very long hair, avoid tears with using conditioner or some spray-on detangler-you can get it at most drugstores or kids' hair salons. Also, for thicker hair, a wide-tooth comb works best.
Dry hair: If you're facing a serious case of bedhead, you need to work through those tangles with care. Take a handful of hair and hold it at the top, near her scalp, then use a comb to pick through the snarls. (It may be tempting to just yank through the tangles, but that technique hurts. A lot.) When all the tangles are out, give her whole head a once-over with the comb or brush.

While a quick brush-through and a barrette are sometimes enough, especially when you're late for school, you will occasionally be called upon to perform a little more artistry. Here are a few basic hairstyles for little girls, from easiest to hardest, and how to create them. (Note: Be sure to use elastics made for use on hair-you can get small ones designed for kids. But NEVER use a regular rubber band, or it will take scissors to get it out.)
Ponytail: Scoop up all of her hair with one hand, and with the other, comb through the hair on the top and sides of her head to smooth it out. You can make a low ponytail at the back of her neck, a high ponytail up at the crown of her head, or something in between. Then wrap an elastic around the hair. Put a ribbon or scrunchie around the elastic if she wants to look fancy. Once you've mastered that, you can also do a partial ponytail, where you just use the hair on top of her head and pull it back.
Pigtails: Pigtails are just two ponytails, on either side of the head. Begin by parting the hair into two sections. You do this by taking a comb, placing the tip at the top of the back of her head, and drawing a straight line down to her neck; make sure the part is straight and centered. Wrap each section of hair in an elastic, a little bit behind the ear, at whatever height she likes. When you're done, look at her from the front to make sure the pigtails are at about the same place on each side.
Braids: Braiding seems hard at first, but after you've done it a few times, it gets easy-it's just a matter of getting the pattern down. Divide the hair into three even sections. Take the right section and cross it over the center section. Then take the left section and cross it over the center section (which was formerly the right section). Keep alternating, crossing the right and left sections over the center section, tightening the braid as you go until you're a couple inches from the end of the hair. Secure it with an elastic. Check out this video to see how it's done. You can also make braid pigtails, parting the hair as described above and braiding each section separately.
French braids: Don't even try this until you've got regular braiding down pat. French braiding is a little more difficult, and requires a degree of manual dexterity, but little girls just love to have their hair French braided because it looks so pretty. You start by gathering a small section of hair at the crown of her head, and dividing that section into three. Then criss-cross each side section over the center section as described above, but the trick is that before you cross a side section, you add a little more hair to that section. It's not easy at first, but it's also not as hard as it sounds-and probably easier to understand if you see it.

Please note that some girls may have hair that requires more specialized treatment; for example, for girls with very curly or kinky hair, it may not be necessary-or advisable-to comb it through. With these girls, you may just need to call in some female assistance. But once you learn how to do a few cute hairstyles for your little girl, she's going to think you're awesome (and the women in your life will be pretty impressed too).

How to Entertain Your Kids for Next to Nothing

tony — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:42:59 -0700

Even though our children seem in constant need of entertainment, most budgets will not support weekly trips to Disneyland, Six Flags, or the latest Characters on Ice show. Below are some ideas on how to entertain those restless offspring when the wind seems to be whistling through the void in your wallet.

A Day in the Park - Every subdivision in America has at least one neighborhood park that comes complete with swings, slides, and other playground equipment that will entertain your restless child for an hour or two. Most of the modern equipment-back in the day we called them "jungle gyms"-are built with safety in mind and you can either join your child in the climbing, sliding, and swinging or you can set up a playdate and watch your child scamper with a friend while you sit on the bench, listening to your iPod or fiddling with your Blackberry.

Similarly, every city usually has some larger, more dramatic park that is typically in some historically significant part of the city and sports such attractions as carousels, petting zoos, botanical gardens, trains, or other rides for younger children. These activities may cost a few dollars, but they always work as a special treat. Check on-line or in local newspapers for details in your area.
The Library - While sitting with your child and sharing a story can be incredibly gratifying, most public libraries are about so much more than books these days. Most have separate children's sections with age appropriate furniture, games, crayons, paper, books, and toys. Other sections have PC centers with internet access, computer games, and word processors. Interestingly, many libraries also offer hundreds of videos, DVDs, and audio CDs that are available for check out. Today, going to the library is truly a multi-media experience and-except for those pesky overdue fines--it usually doesn't cost a dime.
The Airport - Take your children to the big city airport, sit by the arrival and departure gates, and make use of their imagination. Who can find the most exotic arrival or departure destination on the monitors? Who can find the tackiest souvenir in the gift shop? Make up backstories for the travelers. Is the Parisian woman in the trenchcoat a European spy? Is the bearded man in the parka a dog sled racer for the Iditarod? And what about the old lady knitting the blanket-senior citizen or bank robber in disguise? Only your children will know for sure. For some quiet time, stand at the window and watch in awe as planes roar down the runway and soar into the sky.
Swap Meets and Farmers' Markets - Wandering through a local swap meet or farmer's market can be a fun time for you and your children, and it doesn't have to cost you a penny. At the swap meet, you can play "who has the weirdest thing for sale" game or explain to your youngster that those round black things are called "record albums." Share an apple or some flowers or sample some organic juice at the local farmer's market. When your weekend calendar has some white space, this might just do the trick.
Museums - Experiencing compelling artwork with your child-whether paintings, sculptures, or photography-can be a powerful opportunity for bonding. Most cities have local museums that cater to families, either through programs that offer free or reduced admission prices on certain days. Lately, we've also seen the emergence of special exhibits at local malls. Many cities also have unique children's museums that offer exciting, entertaining, and education interactive exhibits that give kids a truly "hands-on" experience and can cover such themes as art, music, and science. These places often charge a nominal fee, but the experience can be invaluable.

Whether discussing the color and movement in a local artist's painting, observing people as they board a flight to the Ukraine, or flinging your son or daughter around the carousel for the fifth time in an hour, it is possible to keep youngsters entertained on a shoestring budget. In the end, it really doesn't matter what you do-as long as the ultimate result is quality time with your child.

How to Deal with the Loss of a Pet

tony — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:34:47 -0700

The joys of owning a pet can truly be innumerable, and over time "Porter" the dog or "Boots" the cat can become a cherished part of the family. Eventually, though, the death of that pet can rock the emotions throughout your household. Often, children are hardest hit by the loss, sometimes even being at an age where they do not remember what life was like without that friend of the family. When that time comes, the following approaches may help make dealing with the loss of a pet easier for you and your children.

Prepare them ahead of time - While it may be impossible to anticipate accidents, if your pet has a lingering illness, terminal disease, or debilitating injury, it is important that you prepare your children ahead of time for what is likely to come. Be honest. Explain that the pet is sick and will likely die. Explain that when animals die, they do not get better and they do not come back. Tell them that it's not okay for the animal to suffer and that it's important to make the animal as comfortable as possible. Sometimes it is appropriate to say that their pet will "be happier when she gets to heaven," or to talk about how when she passes away, she will be with other animals in a place where she can run all she wants and play in the grass forever. Sometimes these metaphors work for children.

As it gets closer, though, a delicate comment like "it looks like she might pass away soon," might help. And while many children might not be ready for every detail, it is important not to lie. Don't tell your children that your dog "ran away," or "went to live on a farm."
Respect their emotions - Allow your child to express him or herself regarding the loss. Their emotions are likely to be all over the place. Sometimes they may be withdrawn and reflective, other times clingy or weepy. Other times, your child may even dismiss it or act if he or she is unaffected. Be patient and respectful of all their emotions. Share memories, laughs, and tears. Be willing to talk about it, but mostly listen. Whatever they are feeling, it's okay. Give them the room to feel what they feel. There are also excellent books like Dog Heaven and Cat Heaven that can help children deal with their loss and understand what has taken place.
Take steps to commemorate the memories - Gather pictures of your pet with and without family members. Sit and talk with your children while they make a frame for their favorite picture to keep in their room. Or, if you prefer, use many of the pictures to make a scrapbook or collage. If your child is old enough, encourage your child to write about his or her feelings--whether as a journal entry, poem, or story. And if you feel it might help, organize a ceremony to give your pet a proper memorial (a group prayer, for example, a special dinner, or maybe even a trip to a favorite park where each family member shares his or her memories of the pet). It is critical to allow your children to work through both their feelings and their memories.

According to San Diego-based child psychologist Valerie J. Christian, when children lose a pet they "may become fearful of losing other significant relationships." Furthermore, she recommends that you "find out what thoughts they are having and what emotions they are experiencing. Be reassuring and patient. With time, your children should work through these feelings and fears." The death of a pet can be a very traumatic, moving, and emotional experience for both you and your children. Following the aforementioned steps, however, just may help to soften the blow for your entire family.

Related links:
VetMedicine's take

iVillage's take

How to Deal with Cheating Child

tony — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 13:30:08 -0700

As a father, few things are more embarrassing than being called to the principal's office because your child was caught cheating on a test. This not only makes your child look bad, but it also makes you look like a bad father. The worst part is that you don't know why your child would do such a thing! Your first reaction might be to say, "That can't be my kid." But that only makes the situation worse. Believe it or not, your child is capable of doing something wrong from time to time. If your son or daughter has been in trouble for cheating, here are some suggestions for dealing with the situation so they'll think twice and even three times before they ever do it again.

Determine why your child is cheating. If they're young, it could be because they don't know that cheating is wrong. If they're older, there could be other reasons. Maybe they feel too much pressure to do well on their tests. Or maybe they simply didn't study for a test because they were too busy watching TV the night before. If they're cheating at sports, they might be looking for a scholarship to their favorite college. Before you can decide the best method of action, you'll need to get to the bottom of their reason for cheating.
Accept their faults. All too often, parents are afraid (or too arrogant) to accept the fact that their children have faults. Cheating is just one of the many things your child might do wrong. If you're lucky, your child will only cheat once before learning from their mistake. When it happens, you shouldn't dismiss it as "kids being kids" or a misunderstanding. Accept the fact that your child cheated and deal with it immediately.
Start teaching them early. Some kids might cheat because they see others doing it and they've just never been taught that it's wrong. You might be waiting until the right time to talk about it, but there's no time like the present. Before you know it, they could be teenagers cheating on their mid-term test and getting expelled from high school because of it. The best time to start talking about cheating is when they begin school. Children learn most during their first few years and they also absorb a huge amount of what they're taught in these years. Start now and avoid the embarrassing phone call from their teacher later.
Explain why cheating is wrong. Young children are generally trying to learn right from wrong. With them, you can simply explain that cheating is "wrong." But cheating isn't only wrong, it's unfair to those who work hard without cheating. You can always use the cliché "Cheaters never win," but that loses meaning if you say it enough. Explain that cheating only undermines their actual abilities and makes them feel less confident. Hard work pays off much more than cheating because you actually get long-term benefits from it. Your child might not understand this concept now, but they will as they get older.
Discuss the consequences of cheating. If you've ever cheated on your taxes, you've probably spent some sleepless nights staring at the ceiling and wondering when Uncle Sam will catch up to you. If children aren't taught the consequences of cheating, they might not have this type of conscience to remind them what will happen if they decide to cheat. They might even think it's okay to cheat if there's not chance of getting caught. On top of reminding them why cheating is wrong, drill into their heads the consequences of cheating, including embarrassment, punishment and even prison if they get caught cheating at the wrong thing when they get older. Most children will simply avoid cheating because it's wrong, but you might need to use the "scared straight" method with others.
Play board games on family night. Some children cheat simply because they don't like the humiliation of losing. Even with family board games, they might feel like winning is important. But you can turn this around by setting aside one or two nights a week to play games with the family. When your child loses, be sure to be a good sport about it. Don't chant things like "loser" or taunt them when they lose. This will only make them want to cheat next time. Show them that losing and being happy are still okay so they can see that playing fair and giving it their best shot is much more important than winning, especially if it means they have to cheat.
7. Allow some time for video games. With the exception of using cheat codes, it's nearly impossible to cheat on video games. Allowing your child to play video games that enhance skills and patience will help them transfer these traits into real-life events and situations. If they're playing video games with a friend, they can even learn how to lose graciously and be a good winner. Just don't let them play so long that they become cross-eyed. Choosing the right video games and letting them play in moderation can be a great tool to help them avoid cheating.
Let them suffer the consequences. If you've received that dreaded phone call from your child's teacher, don't try to get your child out of trouble. Allow the teacher to punish them as they see fit (as long as it's reasonable) and then discuss the situation with your child in private. If their dad gets them out of trouble, it's not teaching them the negative consequences of cheating.

Cheating as a child is usually just a small problem. Some younger children might not know that it's wrong or they might just be testing their limits. But when they continually cheat as they grow up, it could be a problem that affects their future as an adult and even create serious consequences for their life. Deal with cheating at the first sign of it to nip it in the bud and help prevent any lasting problems with this ethical problem.

How to Explain Things to Your Child in Ways They Understand

tony — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 08:18:34 -0700

Have you ever tried to explain something to your kids using language that they are simply too young to understand? Or, worse yet, using language with your teenager that is more appropriate for a toddler? Either way can be a waste of your time and your child's time. Telling your four-year-old toddler to clean his room because a messy room is a socially unacceptable behavior and girls don't like men who keep messy rooms won't do a bit of good. And trying to explain sex to your 14-year-old by using the "birds and bees" will only make them laugh at you even more than teenagers typically do. Consider these suggestions to ensure that your conversations with your children are always age-appropriate and effective so you can enjoy better communication with them.

Think like a child - For some of us, this isn't very difficult. Women always say we think like children anyways, so it might not be much of a stretch. But when you're trying to explain something in an age-appropriate way, try to put yourself in your son's or daughter's situation to find the best language to use. The best way to do this is to listen to how they speak and then use many of the same words they use.
Let them ask the questions - By allowing them to lead the conversation, you might "luck out" and get a bunch of "yes or no" questions. That relieves the pressure on you to think of the words you should use. It also gives you an idea of how mature your child is and the types of things they have already learned. This can help you find the best words to use when explaining other things to them in the near future.
Use school situations - School is such a huge part of a child's life. As a result, they can readily relate to the situations they face. When trying to explain something to your children, try to use recent school experiences or hypothetical school situations to help them understand what you're trying to say. You can also use their playtime or the cartoons they watch if they're too young for school.
Simplicity works - Don't make things too difficult for them to understand. For instance, if you're trying to explain birth to a toddler, you don't need to explain the intricacies of the birth canal and the umbilical cord. Keep the process as simple as possible or else they just won't understand.
Read what they're reading - Take an interest in your child's hobbies and interests. For instance, what type of books do they enjoy reading? What type of TV shows do they watch? Get a feel for their language by looking at their surroundings. If you do this enough, using age-appropriate language will eventually become second nature to you.
Enlist some help - An ideal person to ask about age-appropriate language is your child's teacher. They deal with children all day and they have to know how to communicate effectively with them. They've probably even heard some of the slang and lingo that the kids your child's age tend to use when they're with each other. Ask the teacher for suggestions. They'll be more than happy to help you out.
Find a video to do the trick - While it's not best to let videos and TV teach your children all the time, sometimes they can be very handy. This is especially true when you're at a loss or when you're stuck. You might be surprised about the wide range of videos that are out there. You can probably find one relevant to almost any situation and relating to any age group. Do you want to explain racism to your toddler? There's likely a video out there that will do just that in an age-appropriate and sensitive way. From sharing to learning about puberty and everything in between, there's likely some material that can be a lot of help.

Sometimes it's not easy to talk to your children because of the generation gap. This gap can also lead to a language barrier that can prevent you from communicating effectively with your child. Remember, there's no shame in asking for help or finding other materials that can make the job easier. It's better than not communicating with your young children at all.

How to Deal with That Recurring Ear Infection

tony — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 08:11:05 -0700

"Ear infection." Among parents that have lived to tell the tale, these are dirty words. They're the most common ailments that kids between the ages of 6 months and two years suffer from, and they can easily make a kid very miserable. This can mean sleepless nights, cranky days and general melancholy around the house -- no fun.

According to numerous sources, ear infections are problems for two out of every three kids, and they can be severe issues for one of those two. The most common ear infection is acute otitis media, which is an infection of the middle ear. They are typically caused as a result of upper respiratory infections, but there are many factors that can contribute to their creation.

It is possible to take steps to prevent ear infections. There are several factors in your child's life that cause them, and you can easily control them and drastically reduce your kid's chance of picking up another ear infection.

1. Upper respiratory infection - This is one of the most common causes of middle ear infections. Your best bet at preventing this illness is limiting your child's exposure. Avoid taking your baby to places where large crowds gather. While it may seem rude, you should also avoid letting your baby come in contact with people who could be sick.

2. Smoking - Living with secondhand smoke can increase risk for ear infection by up to 50 percent in most children. Most researchers agree that particles in tobacco smoke congest the tube in the inner ear and prevent it from being able to drain. This backup of fluid is a breeding ground for bacteria, leading to ear infection.

3. Bottle feeding - The longer your wife breast feeds, the less likely it will be for your child to develop ear infections. Breastfeeding passes along vital antibodies and immunities that can help prevent the outbreak of infection in children. Also, babies who bottle feed while lying down are more at risk, because the tubes of the inner ear open up when your child is in a horizontal position. This allows fluids to gather, increasing the chance of infection.

4. Family history - Much like asthma or diabetes, chronic ear infections can be genetic ailments. If babies in your family have a history of ear infections, it's possible that you've passed that onto your child as well. If problems persist for extended periods (longer than 48 hours), talk to your pediatrician about antibiotics. If several rounds of antibiotics don't help, you may consider ear tubes. Although this method is controversial, it may be best for a child with chronic problems.

Ear infections can be a nightmare, but they don't have to continue forever. By taking control of just a few factors in your child's life, you can help lessen the odds that he'll come down with another one. Hopefully by following these tips, your whole house can get a good night's sleep again.

For more information on ear infections and how to treat them, consider these links here and here.

How to Baby-Proof Your House

tony — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 08:09:28 -0700

Having a baby quickly changes a man's outlook on life. That box of magazines and videos you've been collecting for years? It's now a trunk full of evidence that you were once decadent and sleazy. All that loud music? Those CDs are now just glorified baby alarm clocks. And your man cave, filled with all your trophies, figurines, video games, comic books and posters? Sorry to tell you this, but your special place is a big, fat choking hazard.

Your baby has a way of taking everything benign and dull in your life and making it new and exciting. That is to say, everything that you thought was safe will quickly become life-threatening when she focuses her little eyes on it. Your once-safe home is now a minefield, a jungle of booby traps just waiting to explode in her face.

Baby-proofing the home is generally one of the first tasks expectant fathers undertake, as it is also one of the only things they have control over during the pregnancy. There's a lot that goes into it, though - it's a little more complicated than simply plugging in electric outlet covers. Follow these tips to make sure you've covered all the bases.

Be the baby - Get down on your hands and knees and crawl around in the areas you plan to have baby. Look for things that could be hazardous, like small choking items, loose power cords or top-heavy furniture. Don't overlook anything.
Start from the ground floor - Babies live their lives at your knee level. They see the world from the floor, and the things that pose the most danger to them are at that level. Pay very specific attention to the items in your home that sit that close to the floor. Vacuum every day to take care of small items that could pose choking hazards. Inspect the lower half of your furniture to make sure it's not breaking apart or chipping paint, and watch the carpet for frays or loose carpet tacks.
Invest in baby-proofing supplies - There are all kinds of baby-proofing supplies that will make your home infinitely more hospitable to babies. Pick up outlet covers, cabinet locks, toilet-seat locks, bathtub knob and spout covers and stove knob locks.
Gate off the house - Baby gates are an amazing invention, but they're by no means a replacement for adult supervision. However, they are beneficial for keeping baby out of areas she's not supposed to be. Some caveats, however: use gates only at the bottom of the stairs, never the top. One strong push, and gate, baby and all will come tumbling down.
Supervision is key - There is no substitute for adult supervision. You can baby-proof your house as much as you want, but it will never be enough; your baby will find a way to put herself in danger. Always keep an eye on your baby, no matter how safe the situation may seem.

You don't have to remodel your house in an effort to baby proof it. Above all, baby-proofing simply requires mindfulness. You can keep the things you love as long as you understand how your child is going to relate to them and plan accordingly. Essentially, you shouldn't be too worried, because you don't have to throw anything away - you just have to set it up higher.

How to Wow Your Kids with Cool Magic Tricks

tony — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:52:06 -0700

Although you probably wouldn't want anyone to hear you say it, raising a child is a pretty fascinating experience. Their innocence and eagerness is refreshing, and seeing their reactions to the world is like looking at everything through brand new eyes. For a moment, you can play again, you can see the world for the first time again, and you can believe in the unbelievable.

One great way to bring out the youth in your kids (and the youth in yourself) is through magic. Pull a quarter from behind an unsuspecting ear, flip a chosen card out of a deck or make a six-foot scarf disappear, and your kids will think you're out of this world. Besides, any good father and prospective old man have to have a few magic tricks in his repertoire. Not only will they be good for countless generations of kids, they're also great for quieting down a loud group during events like birthday parties and family gatherings.

If you're going to be a magician, though, you've got to know the ground rules:

You must be able to palm a penny - You will never pull off any coin tricks if you don't learn this basic, ground-floor technique. Start by holding the penny between your thumb and forefinger of your left hand, with your fingers pointing up. Move your right hand in as if to grab it from your fingers, but instead drop the penny into your waiting left palm. Although it seems simple enough, you'll be amazed how many kids watch your right hand to make sure you don't do anything "tricky" with that penny. For more coin sleights, click here.
You must be able to force a card - Just like a coin palm, this is the foundation for most good card tricks. Unless you know how to read minds, you'll need this technique to "magically" guess someone's card. In all actuality, you'll be forcing a particular card on them. The easiest way to do this is to use whatever card is on top of the deck. Fan through all the cards, explaining that you want the spectator to know that the cards aren't stacked in any way. Take note of the very top card, and remember it. Then, use one of these card sleights to force the card into their hands. When you "guess" the correct answer, your kids will be amazed.
You have to practice your patter - Doing a successful magic trick isn't all about pulling the rabbit out of the hat. It's also about misdirection - making the audience look the other way, or simply distracting them with what seems to be idle chit-chat while you go to work. This chit-chat is called "patter"; it's the story you tell your audience while you're pulling the wool over their eyes. A card trick is just a card trick; what makes it really memorable is the performance. Practice your patter; many card trick descriptions will give you suggestions for how to deceive your audience.
You can never do the same trick twice - This is a huge no-no in the magic world. Remember, this is your show, and you don't have to do anything you don't want to. You'll get requests incessantly, but you must resist repeating a trick. When you perform a trick, no one knows what's coming, and so the end result is a surprise. If you repeat it, however, everyone knows what's coming and can now specifically watch to see how you accomplish the trick they know is coming. Keep the mystery alive; never repeat a trick.
You can never, ever reveal your secrets - Kids want to believe in the unbelievable, and you'll find they are generally the only audience that will truly believe that you are, indeed, channeling actual magic. Don't take this away from them. They're kids, and they're only going to believe in all this stuff for a few more years, so let them have their innocence. Besides, for now you're an amazing magician. If you tell them your secrets, though, you'll be come a shady trickster. Maintain the illusion at all costs.

This is the groundwork. From here you can learn any trick you want and pull it off like an accomplished prestidigitator. Your kids will be amazed, as if their father controlled the wind and rain, and for a minute maybe you'll believe in magic too.

How to Choose the Best Pediatrician

tony — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:47:52 -0700

Finding the ideal pediatrician might be one of the most important decisions you'll ever make concerning your child. As a dad, you might be compelled at first to find the pediatrician with the most attractive nursing staff. While it might be the best choice for you, it might not be best for your child.

If you've never had to choose a pediatrician, this can be an overwhelming and frustrating experience. You want to make sure you pick one that will treat your child with compassion. But you also want to make sure the one you choose has enough experience to treat anything that ails your child. On the other hand, you probably don't want to choose a pediatrician who is so old that his hand shakes as he's putting the thermometer in your child's mouth. Here are some of the more important things to consider when choosing a pediatrician for your child to help you make the right decision.

Start early - You don't want to wait until you have an emergency with your young child before you start looking for a pediatrician. When you do, you might end up with choosing somebody based solely on the size of their ad in the Yellow Pages. This is no way to find the best doctor for your toddler. Before the infant is born, start doing your research and asking around about doctors in your area. Also check out physician rating/info sites like HealthGrades and RevolutionHealth. This way, you won't need to rush through the process and you can feel more comfortable knowing you've taken the proper amount of time needed.
Make the decision together - You shouldn't just make this decision with your wife only because you're afraid of the "I told you so" for making the wrong choice. When both parents are involved, choosing a pediatrician is less stressful. Your wife might have questions that you didn't think of and vice versa. She can also ask her friends about their pediatrician to see if they are satisfied with their choice and why.
Make a list and check it twice - You'll likely start out with a long list of possible pediatricians, but you'll narrow it down as the process moves along. Decide what's important to you in a child doctor. Do you want a young doctor with fresh ideas or an older one with experience? Keep in mind that older pediatricians may be retiring before your child outgrows their services, too. Are you willing to travel to a different city for doctor visits or do you want one with an office around the corner? These and other questions will likely narrow your list down quickly and you'll find the pediatricians that fit your specific criteria.
Be sexist and choose a gender - Most boys will be more comfortable with a male doctor while most girls will be more comfortable with a female doctor. Consider this when choosing a pediatrician. If you have a mix of boys and girls, maybe you can find a pediatrician that has a doctor from both genders so you only have to make one trip each time.
Visit their office - First impressions are often the best impression you'll get of a pediatrician. That's why visiting their office is so important. Take note of the cleanliness of the facility and the friendliness of the nurses and staff. Which pediatricians have two waiting rooms - one for sick children and one for healthy children that are simply there for checkups? You don't want your kids playing with the same toys that sick children have just sneezed all over, so two waiting rooms are a definite bonus.
Interview the possibilities - Potential pediatricians should be accommodating for parents who want to schedule an interview. They should understand that this is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make about your child's future and that you want to ensure that it's the right decision. Make a list of questions before the interview so you don't forget anything. Don't be afraid to ask them as many questions as it takes for you to feel satisfied. If they won't take the time to sit down and talk with you, though, that's a potential red flag and you might want to consider disqualifying them from your list completely.

Choosing a pediatrician isn't an easy task. In fact, it might be one of the most difficult decisions you'll make about your child's health. But following these suggestions can make the entire process feel less overwhelming and help lead you to the right person for the job. Don't be afraid to take as much time as you need to in order to make the right decision. And don't be afraid to reevaluate your decision if red flags occur during your toddler's childhood. A dad's instinct is unmistakable and you should listen to it at all times.

Check out our post especially for new dads.

How to Help Your Child Deal with Bullies

tony — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:36:28 -0700

Do you remember hearing Arnold on "Diff'rent Strokes" talk about the bully at his school? Remember the name of that bully? If you said, "The Gooch," give yourself a pat on the back and start getting out more. Unfortunately, bullying is still a huge thing that children deal with at school. What's even worse is that "cyber-bullying" is starting to be a major problem for school-aged kids, too. They can't even come home to get away from the school bully anymore! And though you may have dealt with a bully when you were a kid, the whole idea of "cyber-bullying" is likely something you haven't experienced yet. If your child is being intimidated, taunted, or threatened by any type of bully - either in person or online - here are some ways to help your child deal with the situation is a productive way.

Open the lines of communication - Your child might be embarrassed about being bullied at school. If you were being bullied, you'd be embarrassed, too. But make sure your child knows he can come to you for support and advice. If they don't feel comfortable coming to their dad, they might take more drastic measures, like find a weapon to stop the bully. On the other hand, your child might simply let the bully beat him up because they have no alternative.
Help your child make friends - Bullies tend to pick on kids that stand out because they are alone. They tend to stay away from groups of friends who can fight back. The more friends your child has around, the less likely a bully will be to pick on him.
Contact the school - Teachers and school administrators have a great deal of experience dealing with bullies. In fact, many districts even have seminars and other meetings to learn how to most effectively deal with these situations. At the first sign of bullying, contact your child's teacher and ask them how it should be handled. They might be able to "nip it in the bud" without you even needing to do anything.
Find self-defense classes for your child - Bullies can strike at a moment's notice. They don't always work by intimidating kids for weeks and picking on them. Sometimes they just want to fight. But enrolling your child in karate classes or other self-defense courses equips them with the discipline and skills needed to handle a bullying situation themselves. In addition to that, it also instills a sense of self-esteem that children will carry with them through adolescence and beyond.
Teach your child to be assertive - Bullies tend to target the children who seem weak or the ones that won't stand up for themselves. We've all know that bullies have low self-esteem and that's why they pick on others - so they feel better. When children show assertiveness, though, bullies tend to back down.

In the event of "cyber-bullying," you can use different tactics for dealing with and protecting your child from them. Consider these tips when your child feels like they are being bullied in the virtual world.

Teach your child to ignore potential bullies - Many instances of cyber-bullying can be stopped and dealt with if they are caught in time. Unfortunately, dads usually find out about the problem when it has gone too far. Teach your child to avoid responding to insulting or intimidating messages from bullies online. By responding, the bully just gets the attention and validation that they need to continue their rampage.
Monitor your child's Internet usage - This doesn't mean to look over their shoulder every second that they're online. But if you put the computer in a common area where you can walk by and see what they're doing, you can get a better idea about their online habits.
Keep records - If a cyber bully starts contacting your child, keep records of the emails and other information that might be helpful. These cases sometimes come to court for a variety of reasons. The more information you have, the higher possibility you'll have of prosecuting the bully if it comes to that.

Whether your child is being bullied at school or online, it can be a damaging experience to their health and self-esteem. That's why it's so important to help them deal with either situation productively and effectively. At the first sign of any type of bullying, take action. If it goes too far, it might just be too late.