How to Help Your Child Deal with Bullies

Do you remember hearing Arnold on "Diff'rent Strokes" talk about the bully at his school? Remember the name of that bully? If you said, "The Gooch," give yourself a pat on the back and start getting out more. Unfortunately, bullying is still a huge thing that children deal with at school. What's even worse is that "cyber-bullying" is starting to be a major problem for school-aged kids, too. They can't even come home to get away from the school bully anymore! And though you may have dealt with a bully when you were a kid, the whole idea of "cyber-bullying" is likely something you haven't experienced yet. If your child is being intimidated, taunted, or threatened by any type of bully - either in person or online - here are some ways to help your child deal with the situation is a productive way.

1. Open the lines of communication - Your child might be embarrassed about being bullied at school. If you were being bullied, you'd be embarrassed, too. But make sure your child knows he can come to you for support and advice. If they don't feel comfortable coming to their dad, they might take more drastic measures, like find a weapon to stop the bully. On the other hand, your child might simply let the bully beat him up because they have no alternative.
   
   
2. Help your child make friends - Bullies tend to pick on kids that stand out because they are alone. They tend to stay away from groups of friends who can fight back. The more friends your child has around, the less likely a bully will be to pick on him.
   
   
3. Contact the school - Teachers and school administrators have a great deal of experience dealing with bullies. In fact, many districts even have seminars and other meetings to learn how to most effectively deal with these situations. At the first sign of bullying, contact your child's teacher and ask them how it should be handled. They might be able to "nip it in the bud" without you even needing to do anything.
   
   
4. Find self-defense classes for your child - Bullies can strike at a moment's notice. They don't always work by intimidating kids for weeks and picking on them. Sometimes they just want to fight. But enrolling your child in karate classes or other self-defense courses equips them with the discipline and skills needed to handle a bullying situation themselves. In addition to that, it also instills a sense of self-esteem that children will carry with them through adolescence and beyond.
   
   
5. Teach your child to be assertive - Bullies tend to target the children who seem weak or the ones that won't stand up for themselves. We've all know that bullies have low self-esteem and that's why they pick on others - so they feel better. When children show assertiveness, though, bullies tend to back down.

In the event of "cyber-bullying," you can use different tactics for dealing with and protecting your child from them. Consider these tips when your child feels like they are being bullied in the virtual world.

1. Teach your child to ignore potential bullies - Many instances of cyber-bullying can be stopped and dealt with if they are caught in time. Unfortunately, dads usually find out about the problem when it has gone too far. Teach your child to avoid responding to insulting or intimidating messages from bullies online. By responding, the bully just gets the attention and validation that they need to continue their rampage.
   
   
2. Monitor your child's Internet usage - This doesn't mean to look over their shoulder every second that they're online. But if you put the computer in a common area where you can walk by and see what they're doing, you can get a better idea about their online habits.
   
   
3. Keep records - If a cyber bully starts contacting your child, keep records of the emails and other information that might be helpful. These cases sometimes come to court for a variety of reasons. The more information you have, the higher possibility you'll have of prosecuting the bully if it comes to that.

Whether your child is being bullied at school or online, it can be a damaging experience to their health and self-esteem. That's why it's so important to help them deal with either situation productively and effectively. At the first sign of any type of bullying, take action. If it goes too far, it might just be too late.