Raising Kids of Strong Character: Gratitude

Have you ever given your child a gift only to have them respond with something like, "Is this it?" or "Where's the rest of it?" If so, you probably felt embarrassed for a second. But then you probably got mad at your child for their lack of manners and their lack of thankfulness. You're lucky if this has happened in the privacy of your own home. Many parents have turned seven shades of red after witnessing their child say similar things to family members and friends when given a small gift. There are ways that you can prevent this from happening and make your child more thankful when somebody gives them a gift. Here are some tips to help your child appreciate "the thought" instead of focusing on gifts.

1. Show your thankfulness for them. Many children feel like people owe them big presents just because they were born. But you can change this attitude by being grateful for them and showing it. Lots of hugs and caring is one way to show them that you're thankful for them.  You can also tell them that you're thankful for them. It only takes a second to say, "I'm so glad you're my son," but it can work wonders for changing their ungrateful attitude into a more positive one.
   
   
2. Be a thankful role model. As with any character trait, children learn best by watching their dad. That's why it's so important that you be a thankful person yourself. Whenever somebody gives you a gift, be grateful for it in a genuine way. That way, when somebody gives your child a gift, they will mimic your behavior. Many nursery school workers won't tell children to say things like "please" and "thank you." Instead, they teach them to say it by modeling the behavior themselves. Children are more likely to learn good manners when they see respected adults apply good manners. They are less likely to exhibit good manners just because somebody told them to.
   
   
3. Respect a child's impulses. If your child hasn't asked you why the person behind you in line at the supermarket is so fat, count your blessings. Children, especially the smaller ones, have a tendency to say exactly what's on their mind. They have no social skills whatsoever in that regard. So if they get a gift they don't like, don't be surprised to hear them say, "I hate this gift!" Rather than punishing your child for this (which could serve to reinforce the behavior because negative behavior only reinforces negative behaviors), simply apologize to the gift giver and thank them for the gift yourself. When the gift giver leaves, you can explain to your child that they should say "Thank you" regardless of what the gift is, even if they hate it. Teach them that it's the thought that counts and not the actual gift.
   
   
4. Be thankful the entire year. Many families take only one day out of the year to be thankful for everything they have. But Thanksgiving isn't the only day we should be grateful. Some families go around the table every Sunday afternoon before eating lunch to name something that each person is thankful for. This is a consistent ritual that ingrains a sense of gratitude into your children. It's great for your own attitude, too.
   
   
5. Teach giving. One of the best ways to be thankful for what you have is to give something to somebody else. When mom's birthday comes around, take your son or daughter out and let them pick out the gift. If they're old enough, let them help you wrap it and even write in the card. Do this for other gift-giving holidays as well. When it comes time for mom to open the present, your child will be so excited they might even forget their own gift.
   
   
6. Serve those less fortunate. When you teach your child about the blessings they have in life as compared to other less fortunate families, they'll feel grateful for what they have. You can do this by encouraging them to donate some of their toys to orphanages or shelters. You can also visit the children's hospital with your son or daughter and to cheer up some of the patients. This is not only a great way to create a thankful attitude for you and your child, it's also a very humbling experience.
   
   
7. Delegate responsibility to your child. When your child is responsible for something, they'll appreciate them more. For instance, let them choose their outfits for school each day. It seems like such a minor detail, but they'll feel thankful that they can have at least a little bit of say in what happens in their lives. If that becomes a success, let your child decide what type of food the entire family eats on "take-out night." But if you're too worried about their decision, give them a few options to choose from. It might not seem like much to you, but your child will be so grateful that you're entrusting them with more responsibility.

Although it might sound like a corny cliché, having an "attitude of gratitude" is essential for growing up to be a well-developed adult. But children can't learn this trait on their own. As a dad, it's your job to demonstrate gratitude and thankfulness for your child. By following the mentioned suggestions, you can have a child that is grateful for everything they have in life. After all, who wants to be the parent of an ungrateful brat?