Home alone: a parent's guide

by Phil Stott
 
So anyone looking for a safe investment in these uncertain times would do well to invest in the company that manufactures a certain well-known room and fabric freshening spray-they're likely to report a surprising peak in sales in the aftermath of the stomach flu Maeve caught last week. While I don't want to dwell on the details, let's just say that I had no idea that such a small stomach could hold so much. I'll never look at my couch, or my carpet, the same way ever again.

Bad as this may sound, there was one upside to Maeve getting sick: I took a day off to look after her, meaning I got to spend a weekday at home, while my wife was at work. That's something that almost never happens and, given that the worst of her vomiting spell was over the night before, it was a lot more pleasant than it might otherwise have been.

Due to the fact that I have a long commute, my weekday interactions with my daughter usually occur before 7am and after 7pm-times when one or the other of us is rarely at our best. Most of the one-on-one parenting, then, usually falls to my wife, so despite the circumstances-and the scrubbing involved-this was a nice opportunity to spend some time alone with Maeve. Added to the couple of days I worked from home recently when my wife had to attend an out-of-state conference, I've come to have a whole new appreciation for the challenges of being the only parent in the room (let alone how tough it must be for real-life, actual single parents to get by).

Here, then, are a few things I've learned about being the sole provider:

1)      It's fun, but it's the kind of fun that has you looking forward to Junior's nap time like never before. If only so you can do something as mundane as go to the bathroom without having to set up a playpen well in advance, keep the door open, and keep up a constant stream of chatter so your child doesn't think you've deserted them and melt down.

2)      Mealtimes are tough. As someone who describes himself as an enthusiastic amateur in the kitchen, I'd assumed I'd have no problems feeding Maeve meals that she'd enjoy. A history of having pulled off multi-dish, multi-course meals for 8 with impeccable timing means nothing, however, when faced with a hungry, screaming infant in a high chair-a demographic that's impossible to satisfy with a pre-dinner drink and a plate of cheese and crackers until you're ready to serve. You know those reality shows where wannabe chefs are thrown into a full-service kitchen to sink or swim amidst the stress? They've got nothing on the challenge of trying to get a couple of fish sticks cooked and cooled enough to placate a screaming toddler. And forget trying to get the vegetables ready at the same time.

3)      Get ready to put your guerilla warfare skills to use.  If you look away from your child for more than three seconds, they will disappear. And they won't answer when you call them. Which means you've usually forgotten to shut the bathroom door and can expect to find them trying to figure out how to climb into the toilet.

4)      Prep with the internet.  The internet is a wonderful thing. Not only do you have access to great resources like (shameless plug alert) Savvy Daddy for all kinds of parenting tips, but there are things out there that will directly occupy even a toddler. Those looking to sit down for 15 minutes might want to check out the excellent kneebouncers.com, a site that's set up with all kinds of games that require nothing more than a toddler bashing the keyboard (or a parent helping out by surreptitiously clicking the mouse) to get results from.

5)      There's no shame in putting on the occasional DVD (or Youtube video) featuring a certain purple dinosaur, or fuzzy red monster.

6)      Hard as it may be, there's no feeling in the world as rewarding as hearing your child repeat a word or sound that you've taught them. Except when they come running over for a hug. It's the little moments that make all the rest of it worthwhile. That applies whether or not you're parenting alone: the downside of being the only one there is that there's no-one to share a new experience with. The upside, though, is the feeling that you've done it all by yourself.

7)      Like many things, thinking about it is harder than doing it. It's easy to feel overwhelmed with the prospect of spending an entire day (or several days) with only an infant for company-especially, as in my case, if the nearest family member is a thousand miles away. Once you're in the thick of it, though, bouncing from books to blocks to diaper changes, you'll be surprised how fast the time passes, and how easily you can make it through the day.

8)      If you can get outside, do it. Being indoors does no-one any good, and the effects of the fresh air on your child mean you're likely to be looking forward to the peace and quiet of a good long nap (for them!) once you get back inside.