by Phil Stott

I don't know if this is the best time to be writing a Savvy Daddy post or not. It's 7:30 in the morning, and I've just started the daily commute from my house in the boonies. With any luck, it should, hopefully, get me to work by 9:00. Having woken up at 5:45, I somehow still had a fully-stressed, headless chicken kind of affair to get out of the house on time to catch my train-a situation not helped by an extremely mobile almost-toddler intent on pulling the contents from every drawer and cupboard in the kitchen even as my wife and I were bagging lunches and trying to get breakfast on the go. Then, to top it all off, just as I'm preparing to go into de-stress mode (i.e. pull my computer out to do 10 minutes of work before falling asleep on the train), I drop my travel mug and spill coffee all over everything-the train, my clothes, the computer, even the bag of leftover holiday treats I'm taking to work to foist on my colleagues. Already it's been a hell of a day. Oh, and did I mention I turned 30 two days ago?

Whatever else I pictured at this point in my life (which seemed impossibly old a few years ago, but kinda young now that I've arrived at it), the mental image I had was of someone slightly classier and more put together. The kind of guy who goes to work in an impeccably pressed suit (I'm in jeans and a sweater), who never forgets anything, doesn't ever leave work feeling vaguely guilty that he could have done more, doesn't fall asleep on the way to and from work every single day and who never, ever, ever spills his coffee on himself or the (thankfully) empty seat next to him before realizing he doesn't have anything to wipe it up with except his glove-something he kinda needs, given the 20 degree temperatures in New York today and which, given the fact that it's leather, makes a lousy wiping rag anyway. In short, I pictured myself more like a character from Mad Men-only, y'know, without the implicit alcoholism or constant philandering-than, say, the sort of bumbling oaf that's present in almost every sitcom that features a husband/dad.

All of that's set me to wondering, though. I'm writing for Savvy Daddy at a time when I've rarely felt less savvy in my life. Despite knowing better, my parenting skills this morning amounted to repeatedly saying "no, no, no, no, no" every time Maeve went near one of the drawers or cupboards. And I'll confess that, now I think about it, there was kind of an exasperated tone in my voice at times-something I'm not sure she picked up on (she went on playing happily anyway and kept coming back for more), but that I feel guilty about now nonetheless.

So here's the thing: is there a difference between being a savvy man and a savvy daddy? Obviously there are different skills involved in living your workaday life and being a parent, but where's the crossover? Does being a successful, put-together kind of a guy in the personal and professional sphere have any correlation with being a good parent? Or does being too put-together prevent you from being a good parent? (It's hard to go with the child-rearing flow if you're worried about the state of your hardwood floors, or about getting fingerprints on your plasma screen.) And, perhaps most importantly, all these questions remind me of a Carrie Bradshaw-style opening monologue in Sex and the City. What does knowing that reference say about me and my savviness? Definitely plenty to ponder for my commute this evening, if I can stay awake long enough. Who knows, maybe I'll go all Mad Men tonight and grab a G&T on the platform in Penn Station to take on the train...at least if I spill that it'll get the coffee smell out of my jeans!